Countdown To Liftoff
by Mephiles
Summary: A single moment in their interaction leads not only to the liftoff of something new but also reflection upon the countdown that brought them there. KotaroxChizuru and KotaroxNatsumi.  Lemons
1. Countdown 00Liftoff 01

Countdown 00/Liftoff 01

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><p>Kotarou tried to shirk Chizuru off him, but to no avail, her enormous breasts were crushed against his tiny chest depriving him of any strength in his limbs, her face hovering above his with a gentle yet mischievous smile. <em>You're so beautiful' <em>he couldn't help thinking to himself, an awe coming over him. Kotarou knew Chizuru was sexy, that much was self-evident, but to him she was also beautiful, a description he used to refer to something he felt only he could see in her. Even now, to him, he could swear her face was giving off a faint glow, as if there was a light radiating from inside her, bathing him in warmth. A warmth which was quickly slipping down from his neck to his…unmentionables.

Chizuru giggled as her one free hand danced along the inner thigh of the boy, the other placed gently on his shoulder. With a slight shove she put him on his back, using gravity to her breast's advantage as she smothered him beneath them. For Chizuru the warmth he emitted was all the sign or permission she needed to continue. She had done this before for him and she would do it again, teddy bears could never provide her with the comfort she needed, she needed the feeling of someone wrapped in her arms.

"Chizu-nee," he moaned throatily, feeling an altogether not too unpleasant stirring in his nether regions. She could always do this to him, so easily, once it had made him feel weak, powerless and he had hated it, but now…how did he feel about it now? For a short while, following his return with the rest of Ala Alba from Mundus Magicus, he had gotten used to it, dare he say even began to like it, but today something was off…today he found himself distracted not by her heaving and easily visible bosom but rather by the card lying discarded on the table.

Chizuru didn't notice the way Kotarou was staring at the topic of their earlier discussion, her eyes were frozen on the adorable body before her, and her saliva already building up with the expectation of what would come next. She had raised a good boy.

"My, my, my has my absence been having such a bad effect on you Kotarou-kun? Has it?" Her words dripped like syrup but were laced with poison. Kotarou struggled to get free, but inside his heart he already knew it was far too late for escape. There was never escape from her, not if she really wanted him. Normally he would have blushed, he would have mewled, he would have done all those things she loved because…because…because he loved her. He knew it inside himself, even if for Kotarou, having been raised by little more than dogs, it was difficult to distinguish between the love of family or love of friends. For him this feeling, the flutter in his heart when Natsumi looked up to him as a hero or when Mei Sakura wanted to know if he could teach her about fighting, it was all the same and yet none of it compared to the surge he got whenever Chizuru just smiled at him. Approved of him. He wanted Chizuru to approve of him and the way he was.

"Does it look as tasty as ever Kotarou-kun?" Chizuru asked with a smile, her eyes closed as they often were when she was happy. Kotarou hadn't even noticed how she had slid one strap of her top down so low that her whole nipple was exposed and even though his body, on autopilot, was showing full appreciation of Chizuru's generous offer his mind was elsewhere. He knew this game, he knew this style, and he had been trapped in it enough times to know. But…but something would be different today. Today her beauty filled him only with bile!

Chizuru had her legs spread open over Kotarou, her breath growing heavy, blood rushed to her face as her mind began to tinker with all the little possibilities. Would Natsumi find them? What would Ayaka say if she saw something like this? What if she got pregnant? She had been off the pill over the holidays as a result of his absence and would have to make sure to control the nature of their interaction closely today. As always Chizuru felt only exhilaration at all the dangers surrounding her favourite boy. But intruding into her pleasant reverie of expectation was the realization that Kotarou's interest was not arrested upon her. _'Where is he looking'_, she pondered disappointedly, feeling as though he was not so much looking at her as through her. Unused to being so ignored, Chizuru opened her mouth to say something when all of a sudden the situation changed.

Kotarou growled. It was a deep and guttural noise which filled the entire room with its low quality. Chizuru could swear she heard the crockery behind her shake and the whole room seemed to move. She felt her nipples coming erect as a wave of goose bumps passed over her. The noise was like a spell and for Chizuru the world seemed to melt away for a while as she felt her eyes roll up. It was a wondrous noise, beautiful in its nature but ominous in its intent. And above all it was powerful. Before Chizuru could recover to her senses her world flipped upside down.

Chizuru was, momentarily, aware of Kotarou's hands upon her arms, then she was aware of herself in the air, her feet dangling off in nothingness as a feeling of dislocation overcame her, she saw the roof for a second and then…before she even understood what had happened she suddenly realised that she was lying on her stomach, on the floor, flat out, with Kotarou braced on top of her.

The moment passed awkwardly, unsure of what to expect, before shuffling off to find a more conservative room to inhabit. It left, and time resumed.

"Wh-a-t?" She mumbled in confusion, her head feeling as if someone had just dabbed cotton wool over it. Had something just happened she should have noticed? When did Kotarou…? Chizuru's mouth had not even fully formulated her first question when, without warning, she found her entire dress torn away in one sharp motion. There was a rush of cold which sent a shiver down her spine and then the feeling of two hands clamping like vices on her legs, holding them apart, stretching her small black panties to near snapping point. Again she thought, _What_? She moved to turn her head to look at him but this was quickly stifled…

"Kotarooooooo!" Chizuru's questioning statement got lost in one long moan as she suddenly felt the tongue of her favourite dog boy drive itself into her slit through her panties. Chizuru's head went out of her control and she got only a glimpse of the boy before her face was turned forward and stretched up as she felt the pleasure surging through her.

"You always had such a sensitive snatch didn't you Chizu-nee," the dog boy sneered in a most uncharacteristic tone, his face etched with a dark sneer, a snarl building up at the back of his throat. It was different today; he felt no gentleness, no warmth, and all he felt was cold, cold and angry. His hand tightened around her right leg, holding it up at a further angle, his tongue pushing the resistance of her fabric underwear aside, entering her little sea. Chizuru tried to focus again, surprised by the sudden seizure of the initiative from her, but Kotarou was making it impossible with his tongue.

"Kotarou? What?" Was all she was able to gasp out before another spasm overtook her, her eyes growing wide, as her mouth hung open with her tongue pushing out. Kotarou had by now let go of her leg and was down on all fours, pushing his face further into her opening, his tongue licking it deeper and deeper. It was at times like these that Chizuru praised the fact that the boy had a tongue like a dog. It continued to explore and fill the spaces of her opening, like a little slimy thing, wriggling just inside of her.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Chizuru moaned, her confusion dissolving away into joy. She wasn't used to this game but she was more than happy to try it out. Normally she would have expected a little more foreplay to be necessary to coax a reaction out of Kotarou but clearly today something was different.

And so it was. Kotarou had enjoyed watching the wriggling and passionate noises of Chizuru whilst she had been in disarray; he had felt a surge of energy flowing into him as he watched her like a helpless animal squirming before him, incapable of even finishing a sentence. But now she was enjoying it. Her moans had turned into words and she was egging him on, her head craned higher as she tried to look to the roof with a smile, and her body was encouraging him to go deeper and deeper. The surprise of the action had initially left Chizuru speechless. She was always the experienced partner between the two so she was used to the role of instigator and also setting the tempo. She was now relishing the licking Kotarou was giving her but was by no means speechless. She had far more experience at this then he did.

"Good boy! Lick it like a good doggie! So good!" Chizuru gave a small squeal to emphasize her words, her fingers brushing through the carpet as her eyes closed again and let her tongue come out further, savouring the sensations. Kotarou, behind her, growled a bit into the vagina of his lover, irritated for some reason by the way she was enjoying his ministrations. He attempted to pick up his tempo, trying to go further in, trying to make her scream, to make her stop talking. _'Stop talking!' _He thought to himself as his snarl was muffled.

Kotarou pulled out, leaving a moist hole glistening back at him, Chizuru's moans dissolved into pants as she breathed shallowly for a while, waiting for something to happen next.

"Already had enough Kotarou-kun?" Chizuru turned to face Kotarou who knelt behind her. She remained flat out on the floor, craning only her face to look at him, a casual and sensual smile covering her features. Kotarou was still panting when she asked, his whole chest felt stiff, not warm but not cold, just tight and contracted, as if he had asthma. His fingers clenched on to his knees, leaving holes in the fabric of his pants, sharp nails digging into his exposed flesh. He felt like his heart was going to pop out, like an enormous pressure was suddenly building up, and he couldn't figure out why.

Chizuru looked at her dog boy with a raised eyebrow. Normally she wouldn't have expected such a strange experience. He just pounced on her, licked her for a good few minutes, and then was done. It wasn't a normal experience and left her feeling a distinct need in her own genitals. But she was drawn to the same feeling of uneasiness she had sensed just before they had begun, except this time she had a chance to study it. Kotaro was bunched up; his shoulders hunched forward and his arms and hands clenched tightly. His head was also facing into his chest as if he was trying to curl up on his knees. His body shook with what at first might of looked like exhaustion but, considering the type of training he could normally got through, couldn't possibly be fatigue. No, he was shaking with something else and for some reason he was hiding his face. Even his teeth were grinding against each other loud enough for Chizuru to hear. Something was definitely wrong.

"Kotarou-kun are you okay?" Chizuru asked gently, drawing herself up so that she was facing Kotarou, her dress forgotten on the floor, her face creased with paternal concern. _'Why was she always so beautiful?' _was all Kotarou could think. Blood was pounding in his ears and his heart was filled with a lump of iron. _'Something isn't right…why can't she…why can't she…_

"Rub that stupid smile off your face!" Kotarou shouted as he leapt towards Chizuru. Chizuru just noticed a flash of black before a colossal force impacted upon her. This time there was more than simply a feeling of dislocation. There was pain. Chizuru let out a yelp of genuine shock as her body was suddenly lifted up and she was placed flat on her back. Chizuru only noticed after she felt the bristles of the carpet tickle her exposed skin that in the brief interim period she had had all her remaining clothes removed from her. What little remained of Chizuru's clothes were now shredded pieces of fabric, not stripped, but torn off of her. Now she was worried.

"Kotarou what are you doing?" Chizuru blurted out, raising her head to look at the boy, bewildered by the strange almost wild behaviour he was exhibiting. What Chizuru saw hovering above her was something totally unexpected. Although it was true that Chizuru was now aware of the magic going on around her and of the fact that Kotarou was far from a normal boy she had not quite expected her beloved little boy to turn into an enormous shaggy black dog. Kotarou was currently in some between state, his face and hands were still distinctly humanoid, but the rest of him closely resembled his full form. His tail lashed behind him with an ominous thud, smashing the small table behind it in half, as a powerful gust of warm air escaped what could now only be described as Kotarou's slavering jaws. Bulging muscles made the form look all the more appealing whilst his extended appendage, no longer hidden by the clothes he had burst out of, swung between his legs. Chizuru gulped, one hand slowly moving her hair to the back of her head, her eyes glued to the sight before her.

'_That's right, take it all in, take in the fear' _Kotarou thought in his head, observing the slow parade of reactions across Chizuru's face. He flexed his claws, making a show of their sharpness, his teeth growing to resemble ferocious fangs as his eyes narrowed to slits. His heart was pumping and his blood was boiling. He had never felt like this except in a fight. _'A fight' _he thought, waiting for an opening.

The look of consternation which had overtaken Chizuru's face was soon overtaken by something else. At first it was confusion, surprise was evident throughout of course as she had never seen a werewolf like creature, and then it was curiosity. Yet all these soon melted away to reveal something else; a smile which only be described as coy.

Kotarou's eyes widened. This was not the reaction he was hoping for. His lashing tail quieted down as he saw Chizuru come into a sitting position, her eyes locked with his, the light of her smile shining onto him. _'No, what is she doing?' _Kotarou thought to himself, his previous tension evaporating. Chizuru seemed to notice the sudden hesitance in Kotarou's posture, taking advantage of it to crawl towards him on her knees, seemingly unbothered by the fact that she was totally naked. For Kotarou this was immensely arousing and, being naked, he couldn't even try to hide the enormous erection he was now getting. With each slink of her arms Chizuru's ample breasts bobbed, her ass wobbled, and her smiling face came closer to his. It was too much to bear and Kotarou let loose a groan, transfixed, falling into a sitting position with a tremendous crash as he ejaculated prematurely. In the few seconds it took for him to be able to focus again Chizuru had already outdone her previous levels of erotic behaviour. Like an animal at a watering hole the girl was lapping up some of the spilled semen off the floor, smudging her face with it, as her tongue tried to draw up as much of it as she could.

Before this display Kotarou felt powerless. The fighter's poise he had been experiencing earlier left him as he felt as vulnerable as ever in her presence. More vulnerable than normal actually.

"Chizu-nee," he groaned, unable to keep staring at the sight, as he averted his eyes and looked to the roof, already feeling his penis springing back to attention. _'Why is she not scared? What am I doing wrong? Why is she enjoying this?' _Kotarou thought, stumped, as to why his beast mode had seemed to make no difference to her playfulness. Even his forceful treatment of her seemed to go unnoticed. Kotarou couldn't understand why she wasn't getting scared but, more importantly, he himself still wasn't sure why he wanted her to be scared.

"Kotarou," it was a whisper which came alarmingly close to being just a gasp, Kotarou swung his head back down to find Chizuru in front of him, her hands slowly approaching the sides of his face, her eyes glazed with some strange expression he couldn't quite grasp. _'Why is she mocking me?' _he thought, trying to move back from her, to leap to his feet and escape however…

"Kotarou-kun? Why do you look so sad?" He was paralysed by the gentleness of her voice, rendered immobile, speechless, and powerless. _'I'm a weakling' _was all he could hear inside his own head as her voice worked its magic and Kotarou remained frozen to the spot, staring with terror at the approaching hands and face of Chizuru.

Chizuru herself felt strange. She hadn't noticed it at first but now she was certain. Something was bothering the boy; something was making him act strange. Chizuru wasn't sure what it was and for some reason she felt he didn't want her to know. Faced with the unknown Chizuru did what she always did…she mothered.

Her arms circled around his back, brushing the luxurious, dark fur, her face came closer and closer to his, their lips inching together, her chest grinding against his, his anxiety and tension washing through into her like a palpable force as she felt the tenseness of his muscular form beneath her fingers. Kotarou closed his eyes, not wanting to see hers, feeling as his body relaxed from her cool attention, and feeling her lower torso slowly moving against his erect cock as she drew him closer and closer into her full embrace. This was a position they had been together in many a time, like a mother and son, yet far more intimate. Kotarou could feel the familiar warmth it gave him, could feel himself growing reassured. Chizuru was already magical, to him at least, whether she wanted to admit it or not. Only she could make him feel like this, make him so calm, so happy…and so sad.

Without resistance she eased him onto his back, his head gliding into the cavity once occupied by the broken table. As his body glided lower so his animal features retreated, his fangs shrinking, his tail receding and his fur giving away to pink flesh. To an external observer it was like the taming of a wild animal, seduced by the purity of beauty, slowly turning from animal to man, as if in a fairy tale. Yes it was the type of happy ending a fairy tale might have enjoyed but this was no fairy tale.

As Kotarou's head reached the floor and his body lay flat on its back, Chizuru braced above him, he dared to open his eyes and saw, forgotten amongst the broken crockery…that card. _'What if I don't want a happy ending? What if I don't want to be reassured?' _thoughts argued for attention in the back of his mind. Kotarou was an idiot, he would readily admit as much, but he was also a complicated idiot, and there was no feeling more complicated than that of trust.

"Feeling better now?" Chizuru asked sweetly, stroking the tip of Kotarou's nose with her finger in a gesture of affection. She wasn't sure why Kotarou had seemed troubled. To her his happiness came first and so she wanted him to know he was safe with her. She would give him some time to calm down before prying any further, she didn't want to accidentally hurt him more, for now she was content to simply be the love he needed. Communication was always difficult between those who were close. The closer they were the more severe a slight misunderstanding might be. One small mistake might wound deeply without ever realizing or meaning to. Thus Chizuru made the most innocent of mistakes.

"bitch" Kotarou mumbled something under his breath, his eyes turning to stare into Chizuru's with…anger, no that was wrong, more like vengeance.

"What?" Chizuru's mind stopped for a moment as she tried to remember when the Kotarou she was pinning had become a stranger.

"I said BITCH!" There was a roar, a flash of darkness, and then there was no more foreplay. Chizuru had enough time to contemplate to herself that Kotarou did not seem to be playing a game as she had thought, before everything exploded.

The situation from a purely physical description was thus; Kotarou now stood in his full beast mode, before him Chizuru was laid flat on her stomach in the debris of the table, her legs were held wide apart by the powerful forelimbs of Kotarou whilst his penis speared into her open hole. Chizuru's arms lay splayed before her and her face was a contorted mask of pleasure and desperation, feelings like concern and such fighting a losing battle to the sheer joy she was having. Kotarou plunged as much of his length into her as he could, again and again, in and out, with a ferocity and savagery he reserved for battle. This day there was no constraint.

"Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it!" Kotarou shouted in a deep and feral voice, emphasising each statement with a hard thrust, feeling the maelstrom of bile and emotion spooling out of him with each motion. But for what little better he felt was nothing compared to the darkness building up inside him. With each thrust he felt something leave him and felt a little dirtier on the inside. Although the motion of his penis in and out of Chizuru's vagina left him feeling like he wanted to puke, with each swing in and out it felt a little easier. He could feel himself getting used to it little by little. He could feel himself liking it little by little.

Chizuru's own response was an incoherent babble of moans, groans and shrieks. Although she may have been in control before this time she could not even control her own voice. _'My God! It's like a fucking spear!' _Her thoughts were beyond her control, growing dirty and perverted, her hands clenched wildly at everything they could, whilst her eyes swum inside her own head, making it impossible to see. There was no stopping.

"You moan like a whore, I should have noticed earlier, that is what you are after all," Kotarou sneered, his eyes looking down condescendingly at the writhing form of Chizuru. _'Whore, yeah' _he liked saying it to her.

"I-i-I'm n-not a-a-a-" Chizuru stuttered between exclamations, her voice trembling as if in exhaustion, the sheer pace of the sex was too much for her and she could feel a climax approaching already, absurdly quickly. Her whole body was already beginning to shiver, sheen of sweat covering it, as if she had just emerged from a pool. She didn't understand what was wrong. She hadn't known her Kotarou could act like this. Her heart felt heavy with sadness which was being sullied by pleasure. She didn't like it but she wanted to find out was wrong with him. She was certain she could outlast him.

"'Not a what'? Speak up bitch, I can't hear you? Only whores can't talk when there having sex, cause their little whore brains can't handle anything else," his voice was cruel and evil, filled with malice and spite. In his heart he felt sickened by his own voice but impotent to stop. Kotarou felt like an observer, watching from a faraway place as someone else humiliated his Chizu-nee. But this was simply a lie, a convenient escape; it was his feelings of hate, his indescribable tumult of emotion which was driving his own body further and further.

"I-i-'m n-not a-"Chizuru was struggling but slowly gaining ascendancy. Her hands remained firmly locked in place, as if representing her decision to stand her ground. She focused her eyes, blotting out the fluids already escaping her snatch, gritting her teeth as she summoned all her will power, mixed with her anger to say:

"I am not a whor-", but her declaration was cut short as she came.

With an ear splitting scream she came, Kotarou released into her at the same moment, copious amounts of semen shooting forth, mixing with her own liquids, dripping out of her sopping snatch.

"N-no Kotarou-kun, it's too much, I'll get pregnant for sure," she mumbled dazedly, her tongue lying outside her mouth, her eyes wide and glazed like a deer caught before a predator.

Chizuru tried to breath, to regain her strength in the brief reprieve but there was no reprieve. Without even waiting to recover Kotarou already began again, his penis growing rigid illogically fast, assisted by his magical prowess, sliding in and out of Chizuru again.

"No, please enough," Chizuru mumbled dazedly, looking behind herself with a panic-stricken face, arms spasming from exhaustion, her chest heaving with each breath. She felt like she was dying inside. This was too much, this was too far, and she felt actual concern. But all her concern revolved only around him _'Why are you so sad Kotarou-kun'_.

"Ah, did the whore think she was done? But a whore is just supposed to serve, hasn't he already taught you that!" _'Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate!' _gone was any thoughts of Chizuru's approval, washed away by the muddy waters surging in his heart; instead they were replaced by a new realization. Need! When he had thought that he had wanted Chizuru's approval he had been lying to himself; he needed it! And now he felt like it had been taken away forever so all he could think to do was…_'I'm a horrible person, I'm a failure, I'm a loser, I'm a pathetic sidekick to someone much better than me,' _were the real thoughts behind the masquerade of hatred. But as so often with those who felt hurt, Kotarou wanted to imagine he was a prisoner and so he dulled the pain with hate for those he loved.

"Cry Chizu-nee, cry out for him, scream like a good bitch, do it or I won't stop! Tell me how you really feel, tell me you hate me! Tell me I'm second-best, scream it like a bitch, and let everyone hear you!" He was commanding her! Something that he had never done in his entire life, something which, if he had been told he one day would, he would have flat out not believed it. His hands released her legs, watching them flop to the floor to join the rest of her body in squirming. His claws seized the ass of the girl, digging in with sharp claws and leaving red welts, eliciting a yelp of pain from her. _'I'll make you mine! I'll break you! I'll punish you! The wicked must be punished!'_

"And you are a wicked temptress!" Kotarou howled, releasing into her again, feeling her own body wracked by yet another orgasm, her arms and legs now lying simply lame by her side, her head slumped to the floor, drool flowing out of it.

For Chizuru the world was one moment stretched out infinitely. Her senses had blurred together into one overpowering experience; ecstasy. Her brain felt like it was on fire; her mouth flapped like a fish's with no sound coming out but whines and shrieks of joy. Thinking was becoming difficult, a haze threatened to consume her every thought, every little thing that went on behind her face. She couldn't tell the difference from one orgasm to another, an overpowering exhaustion rendered her mute and weak, she was desperately trying to summon up what little strength she had left just to think coherently. But it was failing.

He had her at his mercy now, she was twisting and turning like an animal possessed, she was like a big juicy piece of meat. _'But it's not enough' _he wanted her to suffer more than this; he wanted her to be conscious of her suffering, of her punishment. So Kotarou decided to take his game to another level. With a rapid motion accompanied by a snarl, he pulled himself out of Chizuru, unconcerned by the rapidly expanding pool of fluids and the very real threat of pregnancy. For Chizuru it was like someone had just blotted out sensation. She let a brief scream escape her lips before she lay numb for a while, trying to handle the sudden loss of overwhelming feeling, her eyes rolling back into her skull, her heart pumping blood far faster than it should have. Kotarou was used to physical exercise enough to know that Chizuru was in a very real state of exhaustion and would probably collapse if he didn't begin slowing things down. _'Perfect'_ he sneered to himself inside his head.

'_I have to say something now, he must also be tired, I have to speak now!' _Chizuru though urgently in her head and, in a testament to her own willpower, slowly began to, with shaky elbows braced upon the floor, raise herself up. Kotarou stared flabbergasted, his mind incapable of comprehending what was occurring, _'how does she do it? How can she keep getting up like this? I can see she's on the brink of collapse, who does she think she is fooling?' _His mind pondered incredulously.

"Kotarou-kun…" Chizuru's face was turned to look at him now, semen was still dotting it from her earlier meal, and her hair was messy and disorganised, some of it flopping over her right eye. Sweat made it look like she was covered in a glistening sheen and a trail of saliva was visible from her mouth all the way down to her chin. The sight was…disturbing, to see his Chizu-nee look like she had just been fucked by an animal made him feel…dirty. Inside his heart the filth he had thought he was becoming used to suddenly felt all the more alien again. Kotarou couldn't help himself; he began to salivate. What made her so wonderful?

"Kotarou-kun…"

'_Here it comes' _he thought in anticipation, his arousal growing as he waited for the vitriolic rant of hatred he must of engendered, he couldn't help but grin toothily, like the big bad wolf of folk tale, there was no way she wouldn't be angry with him, no way she wouldn't run off to **him! **

How little he knew.

"Why, why are you crying?" Chizuru's words were struggling to come out, she was still exhausted, and supporting her entire body weight on her arms when they felt like jello took almost all her remaining strength. Trying to speak, and trying to make her emotions clear through her voice on top of that, took away desperate air she needed in her lungs. Yet she did it anyway.

"Wh-what?" Chizuru's words cut through him like a sword. He felt himself stumble, the enormous black dog comically backing away from the school girl, his face staring with disbelief. _'I'm not crying, I'm not crying' _he thought, shaking his head slightly from side to side, his eyes wide. Chizuru just stared back at him, her breathing growing more rhythmic as she regained her stamina, her eyes glistening with strength. She was glowing again, just like before, glowing like a light in the dark. His black fur bristled, as if it was burning under that glow. He was the darkness and she was the light. She was threatening him, threatening to expunge him, to chase him out of the nooks and crannies it was his lot to inhabit. If he was the shadow then she was the sun whose approach made him grow and wither at the same time.

As if in slow motion Chizuru drew herself up to her full height, one wobbly leg straightening after the other, almost collapsing under her own weight once or twice, her eyes remaining glued to Kotarou's the entire time. It was unbelievably regal, nakedness notwithstanding. Even with sexual liquids dripping from her vagina down her thighs, and semen of a would-be-rapist staining her features, she still looked like a queen. Like she was in control. Her face radiated composure and calm and not a look of fear or uncertainty remained, they had all been wiped away with such little effort that Kotarou wondered if she had ever been worried during their sex.

"Kotarou-kun something is wrong and you will tell me now!" Her voice alone made him feel small. Even though he now towered above her it was her looking down upon him. His tail hung between his legs and his eyes couldn't escape hers. He was in awe, there was no other word for it, and he could only imagine this was something like what Van Graaf had felt when she stood up to him multiplied by a hundred. _'She's beautiful!'_ And it was true. And God did it hurt him.

Chizuru's hand suddenly stretched out, slowly, coming to rest upon his face, right below his one eye, stroking the fur there gently. He started, pulling back from her, his body moving of its own accord, trying to escape the inevitable guillotine that would be her hug. Chizuru let him pull back, her face merely creasing with sadness as she looked at her hand. She paused for a moment, her eyebrows furrowing as she stared at something on her fingers. _'What is she looking at' _Kotarou thought, his eyes attentive to the slightest change in posture, the slightest indication of attack. _'Attack? What am I thinking, this is Chizu-nee, she can't attack me' _were what his thoughts were saying to him but his body continued to be on guard.

"Look," was all Chizuru said as she extended her fingers to show him what she had been looking at. Kotarou initially saw nothing, just some wetness on the tips as if she had stuck them in water, nothing special or unique considering the amount of fluids she was already dripping with. But, unfortunately for him, his well-developed sense of smell was able to pick out far more discerning details. _'It smells like…a tear?' _the thought formed slowly in Kotarou's mind, as if unwilling to really expose itself.

"See, you are crying," Chizuru said, her voice pained with anxiety and care, her eyes growing misty with sympathy, tears welling up in them, her hand outstretched to Kotarou in a plaintive gesture, as if begging him to take it. The curtain was now slowly lifting from Kotarou's mind and he became aware of the feeling of moistness on his cheeks, of wetness trailing across his fur. He became aware of his tears. He had no idea for how long he had been crying, maybe it had been the entire time, and all he knew was that he couldn't stop them.

"W-what, n-no!" Kotarou spluttered, stumbling over his own feet as he rubbed at his eyes, trying to erase all his tears before Chizuru could see them. But it was not use. Like a leaking water faucet the tears continued to flow down his face. _'Stupid! Stupid! I promised I would never cry again!' _Kotarou's hate welled up again, finding a new target to vent itself upon.

"Stupid!" he tried to roar but even his voice was growing shaky and insecure, like that of a ten-year old. His one paw smashed the side of his own face as he tried to make the tears hurt. Blind rage prevented him from acting sensibly as the all-consuming desire to hate his situation turned into an impulse for self-destruction.

"Kotarou-kun no! Why are you doing this, please stop!" Chizuru cried out desperately, rushing up to his side and grabbing his one hand. She clung on to it for dear life, using all her strength to keep it from hitting him again.

"Why? Why? I don't understand Kotarou-kun? Why are you so sad?" Her voice was pleading and her own tears were now coming down to, sobs wracking her still exhausted frame. Despite this she still found strength to keep his arm in place, feeling like her lungs might burst from the exertion at any moment. But the pain was like a distant dream, her sadness was enveloping everything.

Even Kotarou was becoming enveloped by that sadness. He hated everything and everyone around him, but Chizuru just made herself such an easy target to vent himself on. He pushed Chizuru onto the floor again before proceeding to slap her ass with his hand. The poor girl cringed, the welts made from his earlier claw marks now burning under the stinging slap, her tears flowing. But she didn't make a single sound. No matter how much it hurt Chizuru stubbornly refused to scream or speak. She bit her bottom lip till it bled and yet still not a single noise came out of her throat.

Kotarou felt his hand move back and forth, back and forth, hitting her again and again. He wanted to hear her groan like an orgasming animal again, wanted to hear her shriek and beg for more. He wanted her to behave like one of those heroines in an eroge-game, the ones who if they saw a big enough penis they just automatically became sluts, the ones who would betray any man if they found someone who could make them feel better. But reality was not like that and for Chizuru there was no pleasure. She just kept her vigil, even has her ass began to glow red with pain, she merely bit her lip tighter and tighter.

"Why? Why did you make me cry? This is your entire fault? You and…and," Kotarou's voice was abandoning him to and with it went his strength. After a few last half-hearted spanks he sank to his knees, feeling his beast form collapse around him, his own skin against the cold carpet, his own small arms hanging limply by his side, his own pathetic tears and snot covering his face.

"You…you…that stupid…" his heart had burst. The hate was just too much and like a surging tide had broken the dam of his heart. He felt hollow, empty, as if all the previous feelings had just been some temporary fit of madness. As the emotion left him so the colour drained out of him too and he stared with glassy eyes off into nowhere, his chest rising slowly with each breath.

Chizuru moved before he even had time to think, instantly locking the boy in a hug he didn't deserve, as she stroked his hair like a mother. It made him want to wretch again but he didn't have the strength to even try.

"Kotarou-kun, Kotarou-kun, Kotarou-kun," Chizuru whispered over and over again, her voice hypnotic, as she clutched him to her chest.

"Why?" Kotarou eventually choked out, breaking the silence, sniffing as his tears fell afresh.

"Why do you love him more than me?"

"Kotarou-kun what are you talking about?" Chizuru's voice was honestly worried, her expression as she leaned back to see Kotarou one of misery, yet unlike Kotarou there was still strength behind it. Although her eyes too were red from weeping they still shone with concern whilst his merely floated in his head like glass balls.

Kotarou made a single gesture, bringing his hand up, unfolding to show what lay in its palm. A pactio card. Her pactio card.

What happened next seemed to unfold like the climactic scene of a movie. Noise seemed to die down and become muted as the entire world blurred for Kotarou into a single experience. The differentiation of smell from the other senses vanished and everything became simultaneously more perceptible and less perceptible. Kotarou desperately searched her face for some, any, indication of thought or feeling. But there was nothing. Just painful nothing. Her face remained blank the entire time, just staring at the card, her eyes betraying nothing. It was like staring at a statue. Eventually she moved.

In one fluid motion, which seemed to happen so quick that Kotarou only became aware of the fact after it had already happened, Chizuru's hand flew from her side to smack Kotarou right through his face. He stood stunned, a dull pain burning his cheek, but transfixed by Chizuru. Her entire body burned with anger and her eyes were like flint striking tinder, sparks flying from it threatening to ignite his entire body.

"You did this over a Patcio?" Her voice was quiet yet sharp, like a stiletto knife slipping into the soft tissue between the ear and neck, cutting to the core, causing Kotarou to suddenly feel like someone had physically injured him.

"Pactio," he emotionlessly corrected her, incapable of getting out the words he really wanted to say, his throat feeling like it was full of sand. How did he get here?

"Whatever! Why would you get so worked up about a silly little card? If it upset you so much why didn't you just say so?" More than anger Chizuru's features just radiated sheer disbelief now. She couldn't comprehend how something so small and meaningless could have caused such a reaction. She thought Kotarou had been mature, but how could she reconcile that with this kind of behaviour?

"But, but, y-you k-kissed him-"

"I kissed him? So? I kiss you to? I-" Chizuru suddenly stopped mid-sentence, her face filling with a terrible sort of realization as she stared down at Kotarou, her eyes growing cold and lifeless.

"You think I like him more than I like you?" The question was metallic; cold, firm and sharp and Chizuru was already sure she knew the answer. All Kotarou could do was hang his head, his heart felt like it was stuffed with iron and pulling him into the floor, he just wanted to vanish forever.

Without fanfare Chizuru suddenly brushed past Kotarou, picking up what little of her clothes remained, pointedly refusing to look at him. Silence sat thick between the two as she did this, before moving to the bathroom, clearly intending to clean herself off. At the door to the bathroom she paused and looked over at Kotarou with a look which could only be described as disapproval.

"Perhaps it is you who do not love me, for if something as small as this causes you to believe I have betrayed you in some way and am deserving of rape, then you clearly never fully understood the magnitude of my feelings for you," and with that she was gone, the door clicking shut behind her, and the running of water drowning out any sound Kotarou could pick up from the other side of the room.

Kotarou sank to his knees and remained there.

* * *

><p>Mephiles: Just a quick technical note before I bridge into some personal ranting; This will form part of a series of chapters which will revolve on the one hand about the moments which lead up to this (the Countdown aspect) and on the other hand to the repercussions of this moment (the Liftoff aspect).<p>

Firstly about this chapter I must state that Kotarou is the bad guy, so please nobody try to defend his actions. Although he is my favourite character, since Fate is now a near Mary-Sue, and I am primarily writing this to to be sympathetic to Kotarou it does not change the fact that what he did was wrong and that Chizuru is possessed of saintly understanding in this chapter. But this will be looked at more in the rest of the story.

Now for my rant. I made this chapter primarily because of severe disappointment. I am not, and never will be most likely, a fan of harem stories. Negima was the one exception to this rule because, to my shock, there were so many other pairings. Not only did Fate and Kotarou have their own mini-harems but even possible beta couples for people like Ako were set up in the Magical World Arc. Thus I actually enjoyed the Negima story and followed it quite attentively. Then chapter 340 happened and I must, unusually for me, use storng language to define it. SCREW KEN! Why the hell does Negi still have to make pactio's with everybody when Kotarou and Chizuru have a mountain of canonical interaction and Chizuru and Negi have barely ever spoken to each other! I mean seriously I assumed the point of introducing Kotarou's ability to also make pactios would inevitably lead to his formation of one with Chizuru if it were necessary. The entire chapter also grates at me because I don't understand how Negi agreed to it. Generally he is reticent to make pactios with the girls unless their lives are in danger, they really force it upon him by waiting for him to be asleep or black mail or, the Magical World Arc example, to turn them into little warriors. So why does Chizuru, who he is only interacting with because her family is rich, exactly need a pactio? I swear the worst part about it is that people may use it as evidence for some bizarre Negi/Chizuru shipping when the entire chapter still implies Kotarou/Chizuru is more likely. I personally have to admit that I liked this couple but was not particularly crazy about them until now. I seriously hope that Chizuru and Kotarou still have scenes together in chapters to come and they better make a pactio with each other. So yeah, ignore this part if you want to, this is just for my catharsis. If anyone reading this ever meets Ken though, or somehow can talk to him, give him a smack for me and tell him to make Kotarou and Chizuru make a pactio with each other. Yeah Catharsis.


	2. Liftoff 02

Liftoff 02

She didn't want to go in. She couldn't go in, not after all that she heard. Natsumi sat frozen on the other side of the door, her hands stuck to her ears in a futile effort to block out the noise, her eyes shut tight as if to blot out the world. But she could still hear the screaming and shouting from the other side of the door. _'Why?' _she thought to herself, sitting in absolute terror, glued to the floor, wishing that she could just vanish from here forever. But reality is not that kind.

Eventually the sound stopped. She heard a few whispered words and what sounded like a door closing before the distinctive gushing of water into the bath became faintly discernible to her. _'Is it over?' _she thought to herself, her hands reluctantly leaving her ears as her eyes slowly pried themselves open. Natsumi herself didn't even notice the red puffiness of her face, a result of the sniffling and silent crying she had been doing; her entire mind was preoccupied with what she had heard inside. _'What did I hear? Maybe it was just a misunderstanding? Maybe they were doing something like role-play?' _Natsumi's excuses sounded hollow and frail even to her but provided some little comfort. She had made a life out of excuses, or so she thought, as an aspiring actress she wished to be able to convince herself of any role but this…this was just too much.

Natsumi straightened herself out, clutching the strap of her school bag tightly in one hand, as she turned to face her room door. The door. It was amazing what personification could do. Whilst to Natsumi the door was normally merely a physical object, one of thousands, which she interacted with on a daily basis it had today taken on a character of its own. It loomed before her ominously today even though she knew it was actually quite a small entrance and even though she had seen its chipped brown surface many times it now seemed to be an immaculate onyx portal. Her overactive imagination ran wild as the door became more and more a Lewis Caroll like entity and Natsumi half expected the thing to start chanting riddles at her until…

"Deep breaths, deep breaths," Natsumi commanded herself quietly, becoming aware of the shaking of her limbs, trying to steel herself. _'Should I maybe stay somewhere else today?' _Natsumi's own mind questioned her, trying to provide alternative solutions to a problem. As if she was trapped in some kind of visual novel Natsumi suddenly saw a list of options make themselves clear before her mind:

'_Should she:_

_Enter and confront Kotaro!_

_Stay here_

_Scream for someone nearby_

_Run to find Ayaka_

_Attack Chizuru_

_Tell the Dean_

_Tell Takamichi-sensei_

_Tell Negi-sensei'_

The list was quite comprehensive and she found herself struggling with which choice she should make which path to follow along the script. Eventually, incapable of making up her mind, Natsumi just followed her instincts on the matter. With a trembling hand she gripped the door handle and pushed it ajar. She took a quick breath to calm herself and then, with no fanfare whatsoever, stepped into the light of the room and all that was contained therein.

The room was in a mess; the table was smashed, the crockery lying shattered around the floor, and even deep tears in the carpet attested to what had occurred within. Natsumi found herself involuntarily gasping as her one hand reached to cover her mouth, her school bag dropping unnoticed to her side. Even though she had tried to steel herself for what she might find within she had underestimated the effect it had on her. Before was the scene of what could only be described as a rape and she had heard every minute of it, heard it and done nothing. The urge to vomit suddenly swilled upwards in her throat, but she successfully contained it. Her eyes surveyed the ruins of the room until they came to rest on the only living being within;

"Kota-ro-ku-n," Natsumi choked the name out, almost spelling it syllable by syllable, as she stared at him. The 10-year old boy was naked (a fact which alone caused Natsumi to feel terribly uncomfortable) and kneeling in the middle of the room, his head downcast and what were quite visibly tears dripping down from them unto the floor. For reasons she couldn't grasp he had only noticed her after she said his name; his ears pricking up like a dogs as his head swivelled to look at her.

For a terrible moment the two remained entranced by the others presence, staring into each other's eyes, Natsumi's horrified expression reflected in the mirror-like blank gaze of Kotaro and his own puffy red ones reflecting in hers. Then he was gone. Natsumi only had enough time to blink and he was already gone, an open window and slight breeze the only evidence of his escape. That was when Natsumi began to bawl, letting loose a monstrous feeling which had been welling up inside her since she arrived. _'Why? Why? Why? Why Kotaro-kun? Why would you do this to Chizu-nee? Why would you do this to __**me?**__' _the thoughts were like one constant stream of conscious, leaving no room for introspection or interpolation, just flowing out of her mind as ideas and transforming into primal emotion as they left her mouth in the form of a wail.

"What on earth is going on out here?" Chizuru burst in from the bathroom, her body still very much naked and sopping wet, a towel ineffectually wrapped around her upper body. Her expression was harsh, as if expecting a fight, but when she saw it was Natsumi crying it instantly softened.

"Oh Natsumi, Natsumi," Chizuru whispered, moving gracefully to envelop her friend in her enormous cleavage, smothering Natsumi's face therein. Natsumi offered no resistance and simply cried her heart out; her tears streaking from her face onto Chizuru's wet body, her clothes becoming soggy because of the close contact between the two.

"There, there, let it all out, I'm here for you," Chizuru's words were gentle as ever and her friend responded by crying even harder. Chizuru patted Natsumi lightly on the back, like a child, allowing Natsumi to grip her long brown hair tightly with her hands, stifling her cries into Chizuru's shoulder. The two remained locked like this for some time as the morning began to drift into midday.

* * *

><p>Kotaro lay on the branch of a large tree; one of many around Mahora Academy City, obscured from view by the large bunches of leaves which also kept him cool with their shade. On the surface his thoughts revolved primarily around the fact that it was midday and not night. He badly wanted to sleep, but knew it would still be sometime before nightfall. He wasn't naked anymore as he had nicked some shorts and a vest to wear from one of the empty dorm rooms. His legs dangled off the sides of the branch whilst his arms were folded on top of his head.<p>

'_Natsumi' _

There was no more to the thought than that. It just hovered in his head like some irritating kind of bug, buzzing around in circles, impossible to dislodge, creating a dull thudding pain in his head. Thud. Thud. Thud.

It was a deadening feeling, if such an oxymoron was even possible, and Kotaro heard only the sound of the nature around him drifting in one ear and exiting out another. Occasionally this serenity was broken by the chattering of students or teachers moving by beneath him, but Kotaro paid this little to no mind. He couldn't pay them any mind.

Kotaro closed his eyes, hoping to blot out the world around him, trying to find some solace. His thoughts travelled in circles with no purpose or goal whilst his body merely felt weak and tired, as if exhausted with his use of it. It wasn't as miserable a feeling as he had feared, he would be the first to admit, more numb than sorrowful. He supposed that that had something to do with the fact that he was so busy trying to wrap his head around what Natsumi had seen, or heard, that he wasn't focussing as much attention as he ought to upon the incident with Chizuru herself. For this he could offer no explanation, even though he kind of got the feeling that he should feel guilty about it, the truth simply was that when he tried to think coherently; which was proving difficult at the moment, his thoughts almost immediately cycled back towards Natsumi's stricken face staring at him within the room. Her eyes unreadable and her face paler than usual, her one hand over her mouth in an effeminate display of shock or maybe even revulsion…revulsion at him.

Kotaro groaned to himself as he nimbly dropped from his treetop perch, landing effortlessly and with almost no sound upon the paved floor below, the disturbance of fallen leaves the only clue as to his motion. He straightened himself up, patting himself down to get rid of any remaining leaves clinging to his body, as he prepared to move on, hoping to order his thoughts with a walk through parts of the Academy he had never seen before. A gust of air blew through his hair, cold wind rushing over him, causing him to shiver as it passed over. He looked up to the sky for a moment, wondering where the wind, strange on a day with no breeze, had come from.

Kotaro's eyes became lost as he stared at the sky, glazing over as he began not to look so much at the world in front of him, as he did at the world behind him. The canvas of the open sky suddenly looked like a screen and pasted across it were images from his life, playing like reels of film, in black and white, sound following slowly after in a haphazard fashion. It was not beautiful, nor exactly pleasurable and although it was heart-warming it was at the same time biting cold. Nostalgia in the end was the only word he could think to describe it, nostalgia.

He saw the scenes of his life replayed like magic; Chizuru taking a seemingly innocuous puppy in with her, his violent reaction towards it, coming to be accepted as family, all his tribulations with Natsumi and Negi, his crying at the tournament and his pactio with Natsumi. It was all too much for him and, to his anger he found himself stifling back yet more tears.

"What the hell, what kind of loser am I, stop crying already," Kotaro berated himself verbally, tired of crying so much in one day, stabbing his claws into his own palm to try to blot out the pain he felt in his heart. _'Why does it hurt so much? I didn't get physically injured so why does my heart feel like it has a bruise on it?' _his thoughts were a useless parade of questions without answers, each petitioning to be brooded over first. Kotaro hated the feeling; it made his gut feel sour, he wished he could just drown it out like he did anything else with the mindless repetition of training but; _'Who would I train with?' _

Kaede was out of the question, he wouldn't be able to keep his composure around her, and he hardly knew the other strong girls like Ku Fei or Mana. He supposed there were girls like Yue but that would be an awkward and random request which would probably get in the way of her studying to assist Negi…Negi. _'Negi…no,' _Kotaro didn't even need to think about it to know the answer. He couldn't face Negi like this…maybe never again.

"Ah!" Kotaro yelled incoherently, rubbing his hands through his hair frantically as he tried to shake his thoughts out of his head. _'Stop thinking brain!' _he comically commanded in a fashion typical of the wannabee idiot-hero. _'Well at least I got the idiot portion down,' _Kotaro glumly concluded, falling flat on his back on the path. He didn't really care if anyone found him right now, even though his tail and ears were sticking out, he assumed that with everything weird that went on here anyone not clued in would just assume he was a cosplayer. Either way it didn't matter to him. Nothing really mattered to him. His eyes slowly closed beneath the shade of the tree and sleep came for him mercifully.

* * *

><p>"There you go," Chizuru said softly, now clothed in her more simple, yet still scandalous, attire, placing a tea cup before Natsumi on the floor. Natsumi, who was still sniffing through the last of her tears, could only marvel at how industrious Chizuru was. In the short amount of time that she had left Natsumi alone to make tea she had disposed of all the broken crockery, wiped away embarrassing stains and even moved the debris of the table to one small corner of the room. Natsumi gripped at the cup with shaky hands. <em>'Hot,' <em>she thought, flinching, and hearing the cup hit the ground and spill its contents all over the floor.

Chizuru, almost as if telepathic, was instantly there, a cloth ready as she wiped away the spill, her face beaming. It was too much for Natsumi.

"Chizuru! Why?" A fresh bout of tears flowed out of Natsumi as her small amount of regained poise collapsed like a fleeting dream.

"Natsumi it is alright, it's just some tea, nothing major," Chizuru spoke as if nothing was out of the ordinary, as if Natsumi's tears were just some childish antic. Natsumi couldn't handle it; her mind felt like it was exploding. _'How can she be so calm? How can she be so normal? Doesn't she realize that I heard everything?' _blood fizzed through her whole body. She wanted to run a marathon even though she knew she couldn't make it, she didn't care, she didn't care if she collapsed, as long as she did something to…to…to!

"Ah, what a wonderful day, I trust you all had a-"Ayaka's comment died in her throat as she took in the room. Her eyes passed over the crying Natsumi, the smiling Chizuru cleaning the floor, the broken dinner table stuffed into the corner of a room and she slowly processed the data before her.

"Who did this-"

"Ah Inchou, so nice of you to get here, please why don't you help me out," The question, which was an order from Chizuru's mouth, came out quicker than lightening and smoother than silk. Before Ayaka even processed the request she was already being steered towards the kitchen by Chizuru, her query left unfinished, and Natsumi scurrying off to hide her face.

"But Chizuru-"Ayaka tried to protest but before Chizuru it was feeble and she soon found herself dragged away. Natsumi couldn't help but feel a small degree at awe at the way Chizuru handled herself. Perhaps the reason she wanted to be an actress was because she always wished to be able to be like Chizuru? So perfectly capable of handling anyone. _'Then why couldn't she handle Kotaro?' _the thought needed an answer. It was with this burning certainty that Natsumi quietly made her way out of the dorm room. She knew Chizuru would disapprove of what she was doing but she couldn't help it. In her heart Natsumi felt this was the right thing to do. She gripped the card she always kept hidden in her breast pocket tight, as if doing so would somehow bring her closer to him, before vanishing across the threshold of the room and into the day.

* * *

><p><em>In a flash of swirling colours and magical lights the pactio was sealed, a kiss with Chizu-nee simply fulfilling the role of being the cherry on top, as Kotaro opened his bleary eyes to stare at his beloved friend. Chizuru kneeled across from him, a small blush evident on her features as she smiled coyly, the card which served as proof of their union dropping down into her hands. Chizuru however remained staring at Kotaro, her eyes not even bothering to take into view her magical gift.<em>

"_Chizu-nee, aren't you going to…you know, take a look?" Kotaro stuttered, feeling his face glowing with embarrassment as she kept staring at him, the uncertainty and insecurity he normally kept hidden beneath layers of bravado and stupid boasts melting like spring frost._

"_But I'm already looking at what I want to look at," Chizuru said huskily, dropping her card as she inched her face closer for another kiss._

"_Chizu-nee," Kotaro gulped, his eyes staring into hers, his lips inches from hers and his body aching for hers._

"_Kotaro-kun,"_

Kotaro's eyes flashed open in a rapid movement. Someone was coming. He appreciated his senses for detecting their approach so long in advance and the urgency of his situation gave him a chance not to focus on the burning feelings he felt towards his dream. Like a shadow Kotaro was back in the tree, a slight rustling the only sign of his passing, his eyes and ears attentive to the pitter-patter of approaching foot falls. Eventually a figure came into view but…it was a stranger, just some girl on her way somewhere, hurrying along.

Kotaro relaxed, easing himself into a sitting position on the branch. He wasn't quite sure why he had gotten so on guard, paranoia wasn't usually a trait he was associated with, yet he still felt like something, or someone was going to come for him. Kotaro should have been spending his time thinking about what had actually happened, but he was so scared to confront it that he rather tried to distract himself with meaningless and trivial thoughts. It wasn't as effective as drinking your sorrows away but Kotaro had yet to discover that adult way of denying the world and its problems.

Deciding he was too close to the campus of his roommates Kotaro climbed down the tree and began to walk away. He wasn't sure exactly which direction he was taking, or where it would lead him, he was content purely in the knowledge that it was not **there **but somewhere else.

The sun was shining down brightly and birds were chirping all around. The lack of wind meant that the trees remained stationary with only an occasional leaf dropping forlornly from its high vantage point over the world onto the floor. Kotaro walked on, trying to drink it all in, doing anything to distract his mind from actually thinking about what he was feeling. The sleep had been a boon, the sandman's blessing, but now that he was awake he felt as refreshed as ever, and this was going to be a problem for a boy who wished for the entire day to already be at an end. _'Training, I got do some training,' _he knew it to be true, nothing focused him like training, the repetitive monotony of it, which for him was the height of enjoyment, would make all other thoughts and feelings play second fiddle. So Kotaro marched off, hoping to find a secluded spot, to train by himself, the way he had done growing up as a child.

* * *

><p>Chizuru drummed her fingers lightly on the kitchen counter, a physical sign of the anxiety she was feeling. Anxious was not a word commonly used to describe Chizuru, in fact she couldn't think of someone ever asking her if she was anxious, so the experience was something altogether new. It was not, however, a pleasurable experience. She had managed to keep Ayaka from inquiring about anything by sending her on errands. In these situations the natural command she held over her peers came in useful for dodging difficult and potentially hazardous situations. <em>'What am I going to do?' <em>for Chizuru the question was like a maggot wriggling around in her head. Her feelings on the matter were also as of yet unclear even to her so she had no idea how to talk about it. On the one hand she felt she should tell someone, after all it was a serious crime and her personal proximity to Kotaro should not necessarily protect him from justice, yet at the same time she just couldn't imagine what life would be like if she did tell someone.

Chizuru gazed out her window, watching as the afternoon slowly set on, wondering where in the vast expanse of the Academy Kotaro and Natsumi may be. She had hoped that Natsumi would have remained waiting for her but was unsurprised to find that she had snuck out whilst Chizuru was handling Ayaka. _'What should I do?' _she had taken in the poor boy to raise as her own, it had been the happiest moment of her life, and she had thought she had done a good job. She had given a child who had no conception of family a family to stay with, she had watched him make friends and even maybe gain a lover in Natsumi, she had watched as he matured and grew into a fine young man and yet…yet…_'Where did I go wrong? Did I go wrong? How could he have come to think so badly of me? No that's not the problem, when did we become so alienated from each other that he could mistake my feelings? Wasn't I clear enough? What changed so much to make him feel so scared about me?' _

"Alright I've organized for a new table to be brought in tomorrow so now could you please explain to me what happened-" Ayaka's words were cut off when Chizuru promptly stood up and brushed past her for the open door, determination set on her brow, her wavy hair swaying behind her.

"Chizuru! What went on here, I am your roommate and deserve to have an answer, was it that brat Kotaro's fault" Ayaka's face and tone were imperious in a way only she could muster. Chizuru paused at the threshold of the door and room, turning her face sideways to get a glimpse of Ayaka. The rich socialite stood with her hands braced upon her hips, a look of stony indignation crowning her features, her eyes brimming with their usual confidence.

"I'm sorry, you're absolutely right, but I have neither the time nor the patience to explain right now, just wait please and I will return shortly," Chizuru gave a polite bow, an indication that Ayaka should drop the subject, before vanishing out into the hallway.

Ayaka was left standing, confused, for a short while as she stared at the open door. Eventually, when it became clear Chizuru was not returning Ayaka closed the door and went to sit on the floor. There, after making a furtive examination of her surroundings, her eyes ducking left and right, before closing the curtains to the room lest any peeping tom came around, she delicately, as if it might break, removed her pactio card from between her cleavage. Her face blushing at the mere sight of it, she kissed the small object and whispered words of endearment and devotion to the symbol of her love for Negi. The crystal of their love as it was.

Meanwhile, making good time, Chizuru was searching for her friend and Kotaro. She wasn't sure exactly where they were but she was confident that she would be able to find them. It was what she liked to call motherly intuition.

* * *

><p>His hands moved in a flurry too fast for the untrained eye to see as he practiced drills and katas. In a secluded back alley, frequented only by stray cats and dogs, Kotaro was attempting to train. The attempting part had to be stressed since the small spaces involved, and the fact that he did not want to draw attention to himself meant that it was practically impossible for him to do anything more than a few physical drills. Considering the training he was used to this left him feeling completely bored. He wasn't even getting tired let alone losing himself in the monotony of it. In frustration he gave a slightly stronger punch, only to watch as it went right through the brick wall of the alley, leaving a cavity into an unused storehouse. He fell back into a sitting position with a groan. Nothing felt like it was going right, even the training was pathetic. He just wanted someone to do something to make the day go by. Every minute that he spent idly he couldn't help thoughts unwanted from popping into his head; <em>'What did I do? Should I go back? Did Chizu-nee tell someone? Am I evil!' <em>for Kotaro thinking could sometimes be more dangerous than fighting. He picked himself up off the ground lazily, casting his eyes upward to the sun. _'At least its late afternoon, soon it will be night time and I won't need to keep myself hidden like this,' _as Kotaro thought this to himself he decided to find a nicer place to sit and watch the sun set behind the horizon.

Ambling away yet again he couldn't help feeling like an aimless stray dog, moving from cover to cover, no real goal or point in mind just moving because…because…_'Because there's nowhere left to go' _his thoughts grimly concluded.

* * *

><p>'<em>Come on, come on where is he?' <em>Natsumi thought to herself as she ran across the campus. She had at first been walking along but as midday turned to dusk, and she realized the true scope of the enormous campus, she had begun running in a blind panic to find Kotaro. She could feel her chest was clenched around her heart, yet even this did nothing to allay its pounding. Natsumi was scared, very scared, but for the life of her she couldn't tell what it was that was scaring her. All she knew was that she had to find Kotaro and fast. _'Or else…'_

"Hey, Natsumi?" Natsumi was in such an automatic state the when she initially heard the voice she didn't even stop. A few seconds later, after her brain registered that someone had been talking to her, she attempted a quick stop but, like most things in her life, found herself failing catastrophically.

"Ah!" She yelled out as she tripped over her own feet, her tail bone hitting the pathway with a painful sound as she skid on the stones. Despite this Natsumi found that it hadn't really hurt much at all, the bruise on her heart made the physical pain feel quite inconsequential.

"Hey are you okay?" The voice was close this time and, now that she had slowed down, Natsumi could identify whose it was.

"Asuna?" Natsumi turned her head to face her fellow classmate who was approaching her. Asuna was garbed in casual clothes, unsurprising as class had ended quite some time ago. Natsumi couldn't help but feel, by contrast, silly for still being in her school uniform. Then again she felt silly compared to almost every single girl in her class…except the twins. Asuna's eyes had genuine concern but at the same time Natsumi got the feeling that she had been in a rush somewhere.

"Hey are you-"

"I'm fine thanks," Natsumi cut Asuna off as she briskly stood up and dusted off her skirt. She bit back a sudden choking feeling and turned abruptly, intending to be off on her way before Asuna could say something.

"Wait up, it's getting dark out already, we have a curfew, remember?" Asuna quickly caught up with Natsumi, standing in front of her in order to block any path of retreat, a confused look on her face as she tried to discern what it was that Natsumi was clearly trying to hide.

Natsumi and Asuna did not have a long history of association. Indeed Natsumi generally thought of Asuna as something of a main heroine thrust into a world of adventure and romance whilst she, Natsumi now, was a plebeian born to live an average life with an average lot. Although this could have left some people feeling hurt or envious, and maybe Natsumi did feel a little of those things, she was in general content. After all someone had to live an ordinary life or else the term extra ordinary could not exist. If there was no normal then there could be no super normal. In this case points of reference were absolute. That being the case Natsumi generally felt awkward in conversations with Asuna, although this might have had something to do with the fact that this was the only real conversation she could remember having with Asuna in her life, and this awkwardness would normally make Natsumi meek and shy, even more than she naturally was, but today she felt…different about it.

"I'm sorry but I got to go do something, I'll worry about the curfew for myself," Natsumi walked past Asuna, her face set in a determined look, her voice sounding just a little bit angry. It probably came out more hurtful than was intended, but Natsumi was unconcerned by the fact, she felt what could only be described as a little bit of pride crawling up her spine.

"Hey, come one, I'm just trying to help, you don't want to get in trouble do you?" Asuna was now marching alongside Natsumi, just a little bit behind, effortlessly matching pace with her. Natsumi grumbled in her head, she knew there was no way she could outrun Asuna, but she also didn't want to have to deal with any additional baggage right now.

"Look Asuna," Natsumi rounded on her, causing Asuna's eyes to widen in surprise, as Natsumi, who usually looked only comfortable with herself if she was hiding in a corner, looked at her with an expression she was more used to seeing on…well, her own face actually.

"What?" Asuna asked slowly, puzzled as to how she had offended the girl, and wondering how long this might take. After all she hadn't seen Konoeka and Setsuna in a little while and was on her way to meet them in the dorms now.

Natsumi's mouth opened, but no words came out, a look of anger briefly passed over her face but it was soon replaced with one of frustration. Asuna watched as the external indicators of an internal conflict caused Natsumi to go from looking convicted to defeated. Eventually she just hung her shoulders and blandly said;

"Don't you have something you should be doing with Negi?" the way Natsumi said it made Asuna feel like it was more of a plea than a question. _'What is up with her? Why does she want me to leave her alone so much? If that's how she feels then I guess she's on her own, Konoeka and Setsuna are probably waiting for me anyway,' _

Natsumi groaned, _'Stupid! Why can't she just leave,' _as both girls stood, unsure of how to progress next and the awkward tension between them lingered. Asuna couldn't understand why she felt like Natsumi was accusing her of something and Natsumi couldn't understand why she felt like Asuna deserved such accusation. A mutually negative bubble had encompassed the two and seemed not to be nearing a bursting point but rather just continuing to grow bigger and bigger.

The sun was halfway down the horizon, the sky was red in coloration, and the temperature was beginning to drop. Inside her head the sudden moment of silence was all it took for Natsumi to make a revelation. As she stared glumly at the visage of Asuna, contemplating over how great this girl's life was with all her power, all her adventure, all her romance, all her cleavage and all her **friends**, Natsumi realized what she had been scared of. _"I'm such a dummy,' _she thought inside her head, a sad smile slowly creeping along the corners of her mouth.

"Natsumi are you okay?" Asuna's voice was genuinely earnest, as her features became creased with worry and she reached out a hand to touch Natsumi. Natsumi recoiled from the offered hand, taking a step back or two, looking at Asuna with wide and enigmatic eyes. Eventually, after Asuna let her outstretched hand fall to her side, and Natsumi positioned herself along the horizon, Asuna began to feel like she was missing something. Natsumi lowered her head, until Asuna could no longer see her face, and just as Asuna prepared to speak again, concern for her classmate rapidly building up, Natsumi spoke.

"Asuna, you've got a lot of great friends, you know?" The tone of her voice was strange; as if she realized that this was a happy statement but hadn't got the memo on what happiness actually sounded like. To Asuna the voice was like a chocolate with some bitter filling in the centre. Although the exterior was pleasant inside she sensed, well, bitterness.

"Yeah, I know," Asuna replied with a nonchalant shrug, eliciting a short giggle from Natsumi.

"Do you really? Well that's good, someone with as many friends as you should know about it. It's a wonderful thing you know, friends, a person can really be defined by them. I mean, in a way, we become dependent on them don't we?" Asuna couldn't tell who the question was directed at, herself or Natsumi, but she could tell that something was wrong.

"Natsumi come with me, let's go find Negi-sensei and we can talk about this-" Asuna didn't mean to hurt with her words, and there was no way she could have known that her sentence would be painful, but this did not alleviate the fact that Natsumi suddenly felt a sharp stabbing pain in her gut.

"Asuna-san you just don't understand," Natsumi was frustrated but Asuna just couldn't understand why. _'Did I do something wrong?'_

"Natsumi look, clearly your upset just come with me and lets go find a teacher, maybe you'd prefer to talk to Chizuru," Asuna was not equipped to deal with these kind of situations but, as was characteristic of her, she was to bull headed to give up on someone clearly in need.

"Asuna-san I just want to be left alone right now, please understand, that what makes you feel better does not necessarily make me feel better, I do not want to talk to a teacher, I do not want to talk to Negi-sensei and I definitely do not want to talk to Chizu-nee," Natsumi raised her head to look at Asuna, the look of conviction back and this time settled in for good. Asuna couldn't help but wish she was Negi in this position 'Darn_ brat always knows how to make people feel better and here I am trying to help Natsumi, I barely know her, someone help!' _

"I will take things from here," Neither Natsumi or Asuna had to turn to identify the speaker. His voice was unique throughout all of Mahora Academy.

"Fate," Asuna commented, watching as the diminutive teacher strolled past her with his hands in his pockets, positioning himself between the two girls, glancing at Asuna with one large cold eye.

"Please return to your dormitory, I will take care of this student," Fate's voice was inflectionless and Asuna couldn't help the fact that she had a natural instinct to distrust it but, on the other hand, _'Negi says we have to trust him so, then, I guess' _

Asuna gave a curt nod, took one last look at the now confused, and very red in the face Natsumi, before pelting off in the direction of her dormitory to meet with Setsuna and Konoeka as night approached.

Fate turned to face Natsumi fully. The girl took a step back, gulping, involuntarily remembering that this thing and its compatriots had once threated all their lives. She was shaking she knew, being alone with him, as night approached, she couldn't help but feel suspicious. Fate raised a single eyebrow in a quizzical motion, as if confused by her reaction, before giving a light grin.

"There is no need to be afraid, I am not here to punish you for violating your curfew, I want to talk to you about something far more important," Fate removed his hands from his pockets, crossing his arms in front of his chest, as he examined Natsumi.

"Talk? About what?"

"Kotaro-kun," Natsumi felt her blood freeze.

* * *

><p>The wooden bench made a comfortable perch for him as he watched the last glint and ray of the sun dip away. Night had now set upon the Academy and the students were back inside their dormitories. Although noise still drifted through the grounds it was limited to certain areas leaving everything else, like the park Kotaro had chosen, empty and abandoned. Kotaro was now alone and not afraid to stand up straight. He leapt off the bench and stared up at the moon with wide eyes. Just a few years ago this would have been normal for him. Alone, in a park, a bench for a bed and gazing at the moon in wonder, the moon was something to look forward to as it signalled the darkness in which he could move freely, his tail and ears swinging free, not constrained by the world in which he had to hide in plain sight.<p>

Night time was like an entire different world for him. He had forgotten what it felt like because he had come to feel…feel.

"Dammit," and the feelings were back again. It was like someone had struck him in the gut, his stomach churning despite being empty, and no matter how long he waited the pain always remained. When he was distracted it was almost as if there was nothing there but whenever he thought of;

"Dammit!" Kotaro growled, falling on his hands and knees on the grass and ground, claws digging into the soil, his eyes screwed shut. But the images came whether he wanted them to or not; Natsumi always so insecure and awkward, bumbling along in everything she did, Chizuru tall and intimidating yet she shone like the sun, generating all the warmth he would ever need, taking care of him and loving him like…like…like a mother, something Kotaro never had or would have and the there were also images of Negi.

"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" Kotaro slashed at the ground in frenzy, his moon forgotten, as everything faded away into red.

* * *

><p>"How do you know?" Was what Natsumi asked first, her eyes wide with astonishment, as Fate stood across from her calmly.<p>

"Unimportant, suffice to say no-one told me, but that I have my own ways of picking up what happens at this Academy. I believe there is only one other aware of this event, other than yourselves of course, but she is so uninterested in anything that does not pertain to Negi-kun that she will not act upon it at all," Fate responded, sitting down on the pathway and motioning for Natsumi to do the same. She didn't budge.

"If you wish to find Kotaro-kun I will take you there but first we must talk," Fate sighed quietly, motioning once again for Natsumi to sit down with him. She hesitantly slid unto the floor, sitting opposite her new teacher.

"Very well let us begin at the beginning, eh? What happened earlier, just to clarify for you, is that Kotaro attempted to rape Chizuru. Whether or not he succeeded is something only Chizuru can determine so please do not ask me. Now you want to know why Kotaro would do such a thing or, more precisely, how he could since you presumed him to be incapable of such evil, am I correct?" The utter frankness of Fate's words left Natsumi incapable of doing anything but just nodding. Fate took this as a sign to continue.

"The answer is, of course, jealousy. Jealousy motivated the action and is motivating his refusal to return as well. In general this problem can be boiled down to jealousy. The question which you should be asking yourself is-"

"Jealous of what?" Natsumi blurted out, her voice returning to her, her eyes desperate as she leaned forward. She needed to know what could possibly be so terrible as to motivate her Kotaro, her friend, her roommate, the boy who had saved her life so many times, who fought on harder and harder even though he was outmatched and even though his own life left him with no real reason to do so, she needed to know her whole body screamed with it.

"Isn't it obvious," Fate's facial expression was almost…pitying. Natsumi shook her head in confusion _'How could I know?' _she didn't understand what fate was saying, what was obvious about it, what could be obvious about it at all.

Fate sighed;

"Kotaro-kun is jealous, unsurprisingly, of Negi-kun and, I must note, his jealousy is justified, but not his actions, Kotaro-kun can simply not accept the fact, understandably, that he inferior to Negi in all aspects of existence barring being a slightly less terrible singer,"

"Oh," was all Natsumi said as she felt her shoulders sag alongside her and her heart give up.

* * *

><p>A short distance away, lying on his back, breathing heavily, an enormous cavity where the park had once been, Kotaro stared up at the moon. It was beautiful and it could never leave him no matter where he went or what he did. It never judged and it never condemned. It was perfect for him. Kotaro was so tired he didn't even realize he was howling to the moon, joining the strays of the world in a choir of appreciation to the light of their world, the world of night. This was what being a stray felt like, Kotaro had almost forgotten how nice it was.<p>

One other person was listening to the howling of dogs that night. She had a special appreciation for them since it was a stray dog, found on a moonlit night, which had changed her world. Chizuru followed the direction of the howling.

* * *

><p>Mephiles: Is Kotaro a popular character? I don't really know. Regardless upon inspection of the manga I must comment that Kotaro is, I'm guessing, not going to be very important anymore. I mean he has no political influence and he is so far behind Negi in terms of power that he doesn't even make a useful sidekick. I guess that kinda makes sense since Ken wants to introduce Fate as Negi's new buddy and I kinda have to agree with that choice. Even when they were enemies Fate had more of a dynamic with Negi than Kotaro did. The two just never seemed to have a deep bond. My opinion of course :). Anyway I still hope that Kotaro and Chizuru make a pactio with each other soon.<p>

By the way thanks to anyone who reviewed, I really didn't expect any, thanks for humoring me. I know I am not a particularly good writer so it means a lot. Also Darkenning I do not know if you got my private message because if you did I would be interested in your response and if you did not please let me know so that I can repeat it. Thanks!


	3. Countdown 09

Countdown 09

The night she had met Kotaro had been quite different to this one, Chizuru realized, as her mind drifted involuntarily into nostalgia. Darkness was now beginning to set in and yet she had still found no sign or trace of either Natsumi or Kotaro. She had thought about messaging Ayaka, asking if they had come back to the dormitory, but she felt that was unlikely. On top of that she feared Ayaka might worry if Chizuru asked her a question like that without explanation and then contact authority figures to find her, as a reasonable person should do. In this situation, Chizuru felt, Ayaka's overly responsible nature was more of a liability than an asset. _'Where are they?' _ Chizuru hated this feeling, uncertainty, it was not a feeling she regularly entertained. Even those few times she did she could normally then place her faith in something or someone to see her through it but now, what was there to place faith in? _'I'll place faith in those two paying for putting me through this' _a small and unusually frank part of Chizuru couldn't help but sulk.

The occasional noise of stray dogs had died away completely, which was in of itself suspicious. Chizuru was perceptive enough to know that dogs did not normally howl at the moon, that was just ridiculous, so the fact that an almost simultaneous chorus of dogs had begun doing so implied something supernatural and, having lived at Mahora and been informed of the existence of magic, Chizuru knew the most likely explanation was supernatural. But the noise was gone, and she was feeling lost again, incapable of tracking it. Her eyes drifted involuntarily upwards, caught by the light of the moon.

She stared into it and felt like it stared back up at her…

She remembered…

* * *

><p>(Flashback) In case you couldn't tell.<p>

Chizuru became aware slowly of the fact that she was awake. At first her eyes just stared, half-closed, outwards at nothing in particular. A few moments (minutes?) later her thought processes caught up with her and she began to recognize shapes. It took a little while before her mind and body synchronised enough for her to be aware of her dreamlike state. A feeling of worry felt like it was lodged in the back of head, but it was so distant that she paid it no mind.

It was dark, she suddenly realized, and the windows clearly displayed the night sky.

The moon was big that night. She wasn't sure how big but she knew it was big. For some reason she felt there was something significant about that fact but she couldn't remember what.

Her hands lazily pushed against her mattress as she propped herself up. She wasn't the sort to awaken during the night but a quick check of her alarm informed her that it was two in the morning. _'When did it…wait' _the dull thump of the worry, like a tenant who was complaining about the noisy neighbours, suddenly caused her to sit a bit more upright, become a bit more aware.

She was certain there was something she should be remembering. _'How did I get here?' _Chizuru felt as if something strange was about and, since she in was her bedroom, which was more than a little…well strange. A quick hop out of bed and a check confirmed that Ayaka was sleeping gently above her. _'Sleeping like a rock in fact' _Chizuru thought as she pondered what was going on. The dead of night, or early mornings, were strange times. They felt like the transition points between two modes. The life of a person like her was not spent standing in their underwear wondering why they had woken up early. Of course there in lay the problem. Normally Chizuru would have gone straight on trying to sleep but tonight she felt energized for some reason.

'_Oh well, nothing to do about it I suppose, may as well do something constructive' _with her mind set to its usual levels of frightening efficiency Chizuru walked out of the door of the bedroom, making sure not to disturb Ayaka, and into the living room area, and then promptly tripped over a small lump outside her door. Fortunately for her the natural floatation device she possessed, her boobs, cushioned her fall…somewhat. They did at the very least silence her fall, hence preventing a groggy Natsumi or Ayaka from discovering the scene.

"What was that?" Chizuru muttered under her breath, turning back to see;

"You!"

"Chizu-nee?"

The two stared for a moment in silence at each other, Kotaro looking far more tired than she, before memory began to come back to Chizuru. _'Of course! The cute little boy I took in who didn't have a family and then that strange old man attacked us and…and' _Chizuru's thoughts suddenly encountered an unbridgeable gap in her memories. One so significant that she had initially not even bothered to give thought to what seemed obviously to be a dream.

Kotaro stared wide-eyed, unsure of what the pyjamas wearing girl might do; still nursing a few bruises from the fight he and Negi had engaged in with Van Graaf. He hadn't expected the girl to be awake this soon and found himself at a loss as to what he should do. It didn't help that Chizuru was now on top of him with her legs wide open in front of his eyes. The immediate blush came right on cue.

"Kotaro-kun," she cooed as she wrapped the boy up in her voluminous chest, arms squeezing tight around him.

"You are real," she happily said as she cuddled him, ignorant or choosing not to notice his deepening embarrassment.

"Ch-Chizu-nee the others will h-hear you," Kotaro stammered out between gasps of air, encountering for the second time the deadliest weapon he had ever experienced, as he tried to calm the squealing girl down.

Chizuru responded eventually, muting her voice as she relaxed her grip on Kotaro, her face suddenly coming close to his with apparent concern. Kotaro tried to lean back, avoiding eye contact, unsure of how to deal with such mercurial changes of behaviour. _'Man, girls are so freaking scary, how does Negi deal with it so easily? Is that the secret to his strength?' _comical as the thought was, Kotaro couldn't help but remember that Chizuru had quite easily subdued him thus, the ability to deal with women, may indeed be a useful skill in battle.

"Your hurt Kotaro-kun," Chizuru's voice was tender as she sneaked a peak under his collar to catch some bruises.

"It's nothing," Kotaro lied wriggling out between her breasts and backing off a bit, panting heavily.

A sudden tension filled the room as the two wakers stared at each other. This was the moment Kotaro had been waiting for, after all there was no way Chizuru wouldn't be suspicious about what happened, but he was disallowed from saying anything. He gulped; dreading what he was sure would be her next question.

"Would you like some tea?"

Kotaro visibly deflated. That was not the question he had been expecting. With an over exaggerated sound he fell to the floor in disbelief.

"T-tea?" he asked back, nervously.

"Yes, t-tea," she responded, smiling cheekily as she imitated his stammering tone. Kotaro blushed deeper.

A few minutes later and he sat on his knees by the table, watching as Chizuru prepared a pot of tea for the two of them, wandering how he had gotten here. In his head he attempted to step by step evaluate his thought processes.

'_Negi's safe now so there's no more need to watch out for him or warn him of anything, and I now know where he stays so, if I ever want to challenge him again, he'll be easy to find, bonus! But I got this nee-san dragged into all this, she could have ended up seriously hurt thanks to me, so I got to make sure she was okay, that's why I was waiting for her to get up. But she seems perfectly fine, better than me even, so I should use this time to go now!' _Kotaro's thought process ran its natural course.

'_But she's making us tea!' _a treacherous little voice piped up from nowhere, placing the proverbial spanner in the works.

'_Right she's making us tea so…so…'_

'_So we ought to stay!' _it added triumphantly, as if the universe had just been explained away in that single sentence.

'_Why?'_

'_Because…'_

'_She's hot' _it took Kotaro a fraction of a second to realize that it was his own thoughts which had made this revelation and not someone communicating to him telepathically. Nodoka perhaps?

'_Look if I stay any longer things will get awkward and they might find out my true identity and then well have to deal with the screaming and the freaking out and…and…let's just not try this again' _at this point in time most sane men would be concerned that they were going mad but Kotaro just blindly pushed onwards as he attempted to convince himself of his own points. After all that was what idiot heroes were supposed to do.

'_But she clearly wants us to stay, come on; can we really turn down her offer?'_

'_Or her Ass?'_

'_Stop that?'_

'_Stop that?' _Both the other Kotaro…thoughts? Voices? Split personalities or possibly possessing demons said.

'_She's only doing this because she doesn't know the truth, I'm thinking of her own wellbeing. Once she finds out it will be just like every other single time we try to make a home, a disaster…do I need to remind myself of that?'_

'_Oh boo-hoo, who do you think you're fooling, yourself? You're not doing this for her well-being; you're doing it for your own. You're just too scared to try something, what a coward' _the little voice hurt because, of course, it was right.

Kotaro looked down at the table before him, where he had eaten with the three girls yesterday, where he had said…said…

What does one do with hope? Niggling at Kotaro was the dreadful feeling in his gut of times where things had gone horribly wrong for him before. This however was not the feeling which concerned him. Far worse than the knowledge that things had been bad once was the fact that he couldn't stop thinking things might be better. Cynicism made life easier because one could dismiss things with general statements such as; 'I have no home, no one understands me, you won't like me if you get to know me,' and so on and so forth. But now…now he felt expectation and that meant that they could fail to be met.

'_It's like a sword with two cutting parts to it, you know? On the one hand thinking things could be better can lead to you feeling really bad when they don't but, on the flip side, it also means that the chance for something to get better always exists'_

'_Alright fine we'll stay for tea, happy?' _there was, of course, no reply as Kotaro was literally thinking to himself, an art which idiot heroes tended to specialize in.

"Here you go," Chizuru placed a tray on the table before them, sitting opposite Kotaro, making sure to keep her voice to a whisper as she pushed his cup towards him.

Kotaro blinked, a noticeable lag in the time he took to react, before clumsily taking the offered cup, spilling a few drops of it in the process. Chizuru stared at him, her face blank, as he looked at her nervously.

Time passed as it always did.

"Well, aren't you going to drink it?" She asked.

Kotaro gulped, looking at the cup, before looking back at Chizuru. _'What am I so nervous about? It's just freaking tea! I just fought a demon!'_

He brought his face closer to the cup, sniffed the aroma and then took a sip. He then swallowed. At this point in time he began to feel like some sort of exotic animal on display at a zoo, as Chizuru watched his every action with rapt attention.

"And?"

"It's nice," and so it was. Chizuru beamed happily as she picked up her own cup, her smile making the room seem a little brighter. Kotaro for a moment couldn't help but admire how radiant that smile was; _'kinda like the…' _but the thought quickly got lost in layers of embarrassment. In his stomach he felt a sudden lightness like butterflies had gotten loose in it or something. _'She's so nice' _he thought, the corners of his lips curling up without his notice. Her smile was incredible; it made him feel warm and fuzzy.

'_This is good' _he had felt this way before, recently in fact, this was the way he felt when he had been eating with the girls.

"Kotaro-kun? You look tired,"

Before Kotaro could muster a denial he found himself yawning and, in the space of time his eyes had been closed, Chizuru had moved herself to sit right next to him, her shoulder leaning against his as she looked into his face.

Despite the sudden increase in body heat Kotaro didn't recoil instantly as he had expected himself to. He didn't know why but there was something reassuring about bodily contact with her. It was a wholly different feeling to the surge of joy and adrenaline he got when he clashed fists with someone, different, but not necessarily worse.

Chizuru suddenly lowered her head, placing it on his shoulder, her eyes closing as she gave her own small yawn. Kotaro was amazed; _'After everything she's been through tonight how does she act so…calmly' _were all of the girls in Negi's class this amazing? _'That other one can read minds, there's a ninja on his team and a freaking vampire! Is this even a normal school or is he training an army!' _Kotaro marvelled at how smart his rival must have been to see the true strength that lay in middle school Japanese girls. Kotaro personally would have gone with the Abyss of demons or some such other cliché but decided to mark to his memory that school girls were not to be underestimated.

Chizuru sighed, a pleasant noise, and Kotaro suddenly felt embarrassed for reasons he couldn't quite identify. He found himself comfortable with the proximity even though he wasn't sure why.

"Chizu-nee," the words came out bashfully, as if the syllables were strangers in a foreign land.

"Stay,"

Kotaro blinked as he stared at Chizuru. His first assumption was _'Is she making some dog joke?' _ But one look at the girl's face convinced him that this was no attempt at levity. Her eyes were filled with a severity he was unused to, but which, for some reason, looked quite appropriate.

"Chizu-nee?"

"Stay here, with me," She clarified, as if reading his mind. Her arms tightened against his as she lent closer to his face, bringing their noses almost together.

"No…b-but I have to go-" a small part of Kotaro, running more on routine than rationality, responded to the situation by instantly attempting to disentangle him. As a drifter and virtual orphan Kotaro had few to no commitments. The only ones he did possess were commitments he had made to himself; I will get stronger, I will defeat Negi, I will bathe more often etc., etc. So, when faced with this situation, he panicked.

Kotaro attempted to stumble up but was forestalled in his attempts by Chizuru's steadfast grappling of his legs. As a result instead of stumbling up he fell flat on his back, Chizuru looming over him, her arms placed on his shoulders in an attempt to pin him.

Logically Kotaro knew it should be easy to get out of this position, slipping though her grasp, escaping between her legs, jumping out the window were all feats he could quickly and easily achieve. He tensed his body, readying himself for one liquid movement, when Chizuru responded with her ultimate attack.

Like a pair of soft fleshy balloons her cleavage fell onto Kotaro's face. He was confused for a moment as to what happened. Chizuru had now pinned the boy beneath her, draping her entire body over the 10-year old in an attempt to stop him from escaping. To her credit it was working very well; Kotaro suddenly felt an abundant lack of arm strength or, or any strength at all for that matter. For some reason all his energy felt like it was being drained away…but where to?

The uncomfortable shifting in his nether region, something relatively unfamiliar to Kotaro was noticed by Chizuru. Chizuru in retrospect couldn't exactly remember how long the two had lain there just…lying. She knew it was long enough for what she felt to be made clear to him as when she finally did get off him, and he blushingly tried to avoid eye contact, he did not mention the subject of leaving.

"Where will you sleep?" Chizuru pondered aloud to herself as Kotaro sat at the table drinking his tea, poignantly trying to ignore what had just happened. _'That was…that was…'_

'_Awesome!' _part of him cried out, waving flags around as it did a little jig.

'_No! Not awesome, it was more like…scary,'_ Kotaro quickly bit, trying to shut up his own consciousness.

'_Yeah…scary. No wonder Negi keeps all these girls around there like an impenetrable shield. How could anyone get to him without first being…being…?'_

"I guess for tonight you'll have to sleep with me," Chizuru finished her long tirade, smirking slyly, fully aware that Kotaro had heard nothing till the last bit.

"What!" Kotaro replied with comically predictable indignation.

"Me and a…a…a…g-girl? In the same bed? "He spluttered, beginning to look for new avenues of escape before she breast-headed him again, a new combat move he had invented for her.

"Why yes…why do you prefer sleeping with boys?" Chizuru asked mock innocently, playfully teasing the boy.

"NO! I mean…uh…no," Kotaro denied.

Chizuru laughed to herself quietly as she watched his suffering, her smile never waning. Despite feeling a bit put out by the teasing at first Kotaro couldn't help but give a shaky smile of his own in return, the damn thing was infectious, as he looked up at Chizuru.

"Just let me clean up and we'll see if you and me can't maybe get a little rest in tonight shall we Kotaro-kun?" Chizuru bustled the cups and saucers off the table as she spoke before vanishing into the kitchen to clean up. As Kotaro sat at the table, his ears still sensitive to the sound of running water as Chizuru washed the crockery, he became aware of his own heart pounding. The noise was thunderous to him, overwhelming. _'Why am I feeling this way? Over a girl? That's just I mean, that's…blegh' _Kotaro stared intensely at the floor, as if expecting some answer to crawl forth from it, or preferably for some opening to allow him to crawl into it. He wanted to go, he felt like he should go, but he just couldn't. _'Come on, come on, why can't I move?' _He felt so…so…so

"Kotaro-kun come on, you look exhausted, here let me carry you,"

"What! No-" Chizuru would hear no argument on the matter however and scooped the dog-boy up with one motion, clenching him to her bosom as if he was a baby, before marching on back to her room. Kotaro just squirmed ineffectually in her grip a little before accepting the inevitable and allowing himself to be cradled to the older girl's bed. All in all he had to admit, even if he wouldn't, that it wasn't a wholly awful experience.

"There we go," Chizuru said under her breath, slipping underneath her sheets after making sure Kotaro did the same. A soft creaking caused both her and him to freeze up, concerned that Ayaka might have been awake, but when the creaking was followed by a muttered…

"Oh sensei you're so naughty,"

Chizuru just giggled a little under her breath whilst Kotaro arched an eyebrow. _'What does Negi do with these girls? That is so uncool and unmanly,' _Kotaro thought to himself from the limited perspective of a ten-year old yet to hit puberty and have their entire life revolve around girls.

"Good night Kotaro-kun," Chizuru whispered by his ear and before Kotaro could help himself he replied;

"Good night Chizu-nee," and that was it. As if all the other remarkable events of the previous day had never occurred, and as if she had no interest at all in the obvious strangeness surrounding him, the two lay in bed together sleeping. Kotaro couldn't understand how he had gotten here. He was confident that this was not how he had predicted everything to go and yet, despite this, he really, really didn't feel like going.

How did he describe this feeling? How could he when he had never experienced it before. It was like discovering your new favourite flavour of ice-cream on the hottest day of the year, or finding out for the first time that your personal Saturday morning cartoon hero wasn't dead from the latest villainous scheme. It was like forgetting your huge project only for school to be cancelled the next day or the character in that story you liked who was always being forgotten finally getting a chance to shine. It was…

'_Nice…isn't it?' _Kotaro turned to lie on his side, staring at Chizuru's face. Even in the dark he could make out her features perfectly. The closed eyes and gentle rising and sagging of her bosom to an invisible rhythm informed him that she was asleep, which was good because he would otherwise have felt uncomfortable about studying her physical features so closely. To him it kind of seemed like she was…glowing.

'_She looks like the sun. She's so bright and shining and she makes me feel so warm. What is this feeling?'_

Although Kotaro couldn't quite grasp what this thing inside of him was he was sure that he liked it. It was good to be out of the night and in the company of the sun.

His ears flattened and his face painted with a faint blush he gave the sleeping girl a kiss on her lips, retracting away to squeak;

"Thank you," before turning to face the other way, blazing with embarrassment. A pity for him because otherwise he might of seen the girl smirk and mouth 'Your welcome' back at him.

* * *

><p>(Back to Reality)<p>

Chizuru shook her head, there was no time for dilly-dallying, and she would have to call someone. Takamichi-sensei made the most sense; he was smart, dependable and wouldn't be upsetting for Kotaro to talk with. She turned around to go in the direction of the staff quarters when she came face to face with Fate.

"Evening, we must discuss a few things quickly, and contacting a teacher would most likely lead to a worse scenario, follow me please,"

* * *

><p>Mephiles: This chapter was honsetly a nice thing to write. I wrote it as if I had just read the relevant chapters recently and so was unaware of what the future may hold. Since the Natsumi shipping only began a little later in it was easy to write this from a wholly ChizuruxKotaro mindset. That said I have to thank those who did review even though, personally, I felt the previous chapter was a bit boring. Nothing really happened in it. Anyway this sets the tone for how the story will work, a bit of present storyline, followed by filler-like flashbacks to fictional sweet moments in the past of Chizuru and Kotaro. Since I hope for the story to go for a while I do intend to release chapters as the manga goes out so that as much as possible I can fit it into the cannon. Anyway I have faith that Kotaro and Chizuru will make a pactio with each other soon and am looking forward to Kotaro and her getting some focus in the manga (I mean seriously they need some development). Anywho I was just wondering does anyone else know what general opinion on the matter is? I mean do most people like the fact that Chizuru made a pactio with Negi or would they have prefered (like me) for it to be with Kotaro? Personally I just think it makes more sense for Kotaro and Chizuru to make a pactio with each other I mean Chizuru barely interacts with Negi. I think that Chizuru and Kotaro need some more time in the manga and I have faith that the two will get more time together soon.<p>

By the way I am writing exams now so I update when I can. Thanks!


	4. Liftoff 03

Liftoff 03

"Mind if I sit here?"

Kotaro jumped at the sound, shifting into a combat-ready stance as he did so, caught completely by surprise. His alarm was in no small part due to the fact that not so long ago the owner of that voice had been trying quite actively to kill him.

"Fate," he said staring down at the artificial construct which stood before him, casually leaning against the bench which Kotaro had been using for a bed. As if in response the doll gave a barely noticeable nod, a slightly more bemused than blank expression on his face.

Kotaro relaxed himself, although he still felt uneasy about the situation, he and Fate were far from what he would call friends and stalking him this late at night seemed more than a little suspicious.

"What do you want?" Kotaro asked in a low voice, trying to keep it as neutral as he could, whilst trying to figure out what Fate could want with him.

"Nice hole," Fate replied, nonchalantly, gesturing to the cavity Kotaro had left in the ground with his earlier tantrum as he took a seat, relaxing comfortably onto the bench. For some reason Kotaro had found Fate as an ally even more insufferable than as an enemy. Although he knew it was probably just his imagination Kotaro always felt like the construct was radiating smugness and insulting him in some or other clever manner. At least as an enemy he had been deadly serious now he seemed to spend most of his time practicing some bizarre kind of humour which involved baiting people into stupid decisions.

"Will your thinking take long?" Fate butted in, snapping Kotaro from his thoughts, and earning a glare. Fate met the glare with an expression of slight amusement.

"Answer my question already, I got things to do," Kotaro snapped back.

Fate took a moment to look away, and then stared at his fingers before finally deciding to look Kotaro in the face again. When he did Kotaro was surprised to find the look of dead seriousness which used to be his customary expression staring right back at him, or perhaps through him was a better way of putting it.

"I know,"

Those two words froze Kotaro to the ground. _'How? Did…did she tell him…why? Wait, Fate? That doesn't make sense what about Negi? Did Natsumi?' _Painful thoughts engulfed his head and Kotaro felt his own hands quivering despite his attempts to keep them still.

"How?" was all that escaped past Kotaro's lips. Fate seemed to contemplate his next words carefully, even placing a finger before his mouth in a gesture of thoughtfulness, before continuing;

"If what you want to know, which I am assuming you do, is whether or not your friends told me then don't worry neither Chizuru or Natsumi spoke to me," Kotaro breathed an audible sigh of relief at that.

"Although considering what you did is it really alright for them not to tell someone?" The question stung and instantly made Kotaro remember his antagonism towards Fate. His eyes hardened and he spoke in a growl;

"How did you find out?" He clenched his fists to emphasise his question externally and to calm his own seething emotions internally. He could once more feel the tumultuous emotions reeling within him like a stormy sea. Unlike earlier that day, however, he was certain he knew what this feeling was; **anger**.

Fate's response was merely to shake his head in disappointment before he replied with a sly smirk;

"Are you going to fight me? How well do you think that would work?"

"We won't know till I try," Kotaro growled. Logically a part of him knew he was being stupid, that this was Fate, an opponent of Negi's level was so many tiers beyond his ability to keep up that even an attempt to do so couldn't really be called a fight. It would be a one-sided slaughter. A curb-stomp battle. He knew it and hated it and, like strong liquor, hate was energizing and intoxicating. Even if all he was looking for was an excuse to pound something he could at least pretend he was doing it for a higher purpose.

"Are you really going to let your ego ruin your life twice for you in one night? Haven't you learned anything tonight?" Fate spoke in a critical and clipped tone, each word like a little swat on the nose, as if he was disciplining a young child.

Oh how Kotaro hated him, how he wanted to knock that invisible smile off of his damn head, how he wished he could be the powerful one, he could be the hero, he could just reach over and break Fate in two with a blow he could have everyone's love and affection he could…he could…he could…he couldn't.

Fate watched as the half-breed visibly deflated. The tension in the air dissipated as the aura of bloodlust receded, not completely gone but hidden, and no longer directed at him. Fate waited a prudent amount, calculated by internal procedures to give Kotaro maximum time to calm down and mend his damaged ego, before taking the next step in the conversation.

"Please take a seat,"

Kotaro offered no objection and slumped into the bench alongside Fate his face staring at the floor and his shoulders slumped. He felt like he was lost again.

"I am aware of most of everything which goes on at this Academy. My discovery of your incident was due to my efforts and no assistance from your friends. In fact they have been spending this entire night searching for you so I would advise you to revise your opinions of them. Only one other being is aware of your incident and she does not care about anything which does not involve Negi-kun. In fact I find it doubtful that she even knows your name. I will not tell anyone which I assumed would be your next question. But you and I must discuss what happens next, not just for you, but for them as well. Some of what I say will be to you cutting in the extreme whilst the rest may actually seem something of a salve to you wounds. Most importantly I want you to keep in mind that I am only doing this because your actions may have effects on Negi-kun which may in turn endanger the plan to save the Magical World. I do this out of no affection or compassion for you," Fate paused, as if awaiting Kotaro to agree to a contract, tentatively hovering over the dotted line.

Kotaro simply nodded. There were no words to say.

Fate paused, turned his head to look upwards at the moon, and then began to speak again;

"You are jealous of Negi, this is obvious, and this jealousy has caused you to do something you now regret, yes?"

'_Duh' _Kotaro thought. Even with his intelligence, which he knew was nothing compared to Fate or Negi's, he knew that much. It was like a cliché drama plotline, two best friends growing up together, one always pulling ahead and the other slowly coming to accept that he should be happy with what he has rather than always being jealous of his friend. Right now Kotaro was finding it hard to understand how anyone ever accepted something like that. At least in movies and stories there was always the fictional element of the less fortunate individual usually having a unique skill or talent which they come to embrace. But for him, for Kotaro, what was there?

"You feel he is better than you at everything it is which you wish to be good at," Fate's matter-of-fact tone did actually soften the blow. Rather than a stinging slap at his pride it felt more like a lead weight on his shoulders, uncomfortable yes, but not painful.

"Yeah, so, anyone could have told you that," Kotaro said, rolling his head back and stretching out over the bench, trying to project an air of calm indifference whilst inside he felt a gnawing at his gut. Fate seemed to analyse this change in posture for a moment before moving his face so as to stare directly into Kotaro's eyes. Fate's eyes were far from dead doll eyes that much was clear, something inscrutable lay in them.

"True, but what no-one else has said is that this feeling, jealousy now, by itself does not necessarily constitute a problem,"

"Explain?" Kotaro countered; genuinely confused that Fate seemed to be offering him an olive branch of sorts.

"It is simply a matter of objective observation. You are a normal mortal being with a slightly above average pride and enormous self-confidence issues. Normally these are not a problem because your strength fills you with a sense of bravado. But now Negi is so far beyond you that you are beginning to feel that is hopeless to even try to catch up. This is galling for you because your particular view of life, for lack of a more encapsulating word, has always boiled down to the idea that if you try hard enough you'll win,"

Kotaro stared for a moment in stunned silence. He had known Fate was observant but this was…kind of disturbing in its depth.

"Jealousy in this situation is only natural, after all, you feel like you are no more use to him. The fact that he is now surrounded by so many strong allies; myself, Rakan, Godel, Evangeline and Takamichi makes you question your usefulness to anyone really. The fact that you are jealous can hardly be seen as a fault. In a nutshell your jealousy over his strength is not something you need feel ashamed of," Fate finished his sentence with a slight twist of his head.

Kotaro continued to be stunned. _'I've never heard him speak…so much and…so right' _Kotaro only registered what Fate was saying to him slightly after he had finished saying it.

"But…what?" Kotaro mustered, trying to work through Fate's tirade one sentence at a time. _'So…it is okay to be jealous of Negi? That doesn't sound right, isn't jealousy a bad emotion?'_

"Understand that jealousy to my mind is not inherently bad so much as it is an objective fact of mortal life. It is only natural for a fighter such as you to feel jealous when your friend upstages you beyond comparison," Fate supplied, as if reading Kotaro's thoughts.

Was it okay? Kotaro had always tried to supress his jealousy, although he knew he had failed several times, but recently, despite the enormous leap made by his friend he felt he had maintained his composure very well. In fact, now that he thought about it, he didn't really care that much about it. It hadn't even been going through his mind when he had…

"Of course that level of jealousy was bearable for you," Fate interjected. Kotaro looked at him and Fate took this as permission to speak again.

"No matter how jealous you were of Negi you had found something here, at Mahora, which made any burden in life bearable for you," Kotaro felt a sudden gloom over him as Fate spoke. He knew what he would say next.

"You know what I am going to say next; you found Chizuru Naba and Natsumi Murakami. You found what you most wanted, love and acceptance. A chance to cease being an outcast of two worlds and rather to be unconditionally accepted for who you are and to them it didn't matter if you were the strongest or fastest or whatever. No matter what you went through they always stood with you and supported you and cared for you. They were your friends. Perhaps even more." Fate finished his statement by looking at the night sky again. Kotaro brooded silently to the side.

He was right of course, infuriatingly, he was able to survive because of them. The only reason he stayed at Mahora was because of them. They were an anchor in an otherwise turbulent life. No matter how he looked at it the person who had taken him out of the cold and brought him into the warmth of the sun in more ways than one was…_'Chizu-nee'. _

Was it a debt? Was that why he felt so compelled to stay and help them? Did he feel he owed it to the girls for all they had done for him? No that was stupid. No matter how much he might try to deny it he knew it was useless. He loved them, as he had told Natsumi in Mundus Magicus; he loved the girls who had given him so much.

Fate politely ignored the sudden gagging sound Kotaro made to the side of him, allowing him to imagine he was fooled by his coughing routine. Kotaro could have pretended to be choking as much as he wanted to that night, Fate knew he was crying and honestly, though capable of understanding it, didn't really care.

"Who would you say are your friends Kotaro?"

Kotaro looked at fate suspiciously before answering;

"I don't know there's a lot of them like; Chizu-nee, Natsumi-neechan, Negi, Kaede-nee, that Yue girl and people like that, why?"

Fate shook his head as if Kotaro had made some sort of childish mistake before continuing;

"Let us use as a bar for the interaction known as friendship at least that same depth of emotional connection as Negi has with any of the following; Chachamaru, Yue, Nodoka, Asuna, Ku Fei, Shiori, Ayaka, Ako, Makie, Akira or pretty much any girl in his class, how many friends would you say you have then?'

Kotaro thought about it for a bit, unsure of where Fate was attempting to head with the conversation.

"Chizu-nee, Natsumi-neechan and Negi," he finally said, a bit disappointed with how miserably small a list it was.

"Those are the people who would be concerned, more than simply noticing, if you were to disappear or leave, any other friends you have are but associated with you by proxy of your association with Negi. Consider, how many conversations have you had with children outside of this circle which did not revolve around Negi, Negi's goal, helping Negi or how much they love Negi?"

"Including you?" Kotaro shot back in a rare moment, enjoying Fate bristle at the comment.

"The conclusion we reach is…"

"Yeah, yeah I get it so I don't have a lot of 'close friends' and I think me and Kaede talk a lot for your information," Kotaro interrupted, surprised by the fact that he was once more starting to feel blasé about the tongue lashing he was receiving. For some reason as Fate piled on the depressing information he felt somewhat…liberated.

Fate twitched a bit, a small look of irritation flashing across his face, before the normal deadpan expression took hold again.

"It is not about quantity of friends it is again about comparison. Negi-kun has a lot of friends, particularly girls, he seems to have the ability to make any female he talks to for more than a few moments fall mindlessly in love with him, but compared to him you have only two real friends. This is not a problem on its own because you were satisfied, happy, with only those two friends. You loved them. What I am trying to say is that it is your fear of losing them which caused you to snap and attempt to rape the person who probably loves you the most in the entire world; Chizuru"

Kotaro went quiet. His nonchalance had disintegrated and he stared at Fate with cold fury.

"How dare you-"

"Tell me I am wrong if you believe so. The truth is plain to me. You fear that the person you love, Chizuru, is abandoning you for Negi all because of something as simple as a Pactio. How ironic that the only person who misunderstood her intentions was the one she cared for most. I will not deny that Negi and Chizuru should have been more thoughtful about what they were doing; why they did not inform you beforehand escapes me since it seems simple and obvious that you would be interested, but that is a minor point-"

"It isn't a minor point to me. Why didn't Chizu-nee let me know she wanted a pactio? I could have made one with her and it would have worked out just as well. I mean her pactio doesn't even have anything to do with politics or meeting people like Ayaka's so why did it have to be with Negi? And why didn't anyone think that I would like to be involved?" Why?" Kotaro yelled out loud, disturbing the serenity of the night, breathing heavily in frustration, glaring at Fate even though he knew there was no reason to.

Fate watched Kotaro impassively as always.

"I cannot answer all questions, I can merely say what I know to be true and the simple truth which you have missed is that Chizuru Naba loves you more than she loves anyone else," it was so simple, so plain, it was underwhelming. Kotaro had hoped for something more not just a simple…simple…

He yelled incoherently, wringing his hands together in frustration as he looked skyward. High above him the moon and the stars shared the night sky. Unlike the sun which glowed so brightly and proudly on its own the moon and stars even in tandem couldn't match its splendour. He suddenly felt lonely without the sun.

"That can't be, that just can't be," Kotaro repeated to himself, holding his head in his hands.

"Why not?"

"Because…because…"

"Why not Kotaro?"

"Because then what have I done? If I could blame her for betraying me, if I could believe that she had chosen Negi over me then I could hate her and blame everything on her and him. But if I…if I believe what you say then…then…nothing makes sense and-"

"Pathetic," Fate scoffed, standing up from the bench, one hand inside his pocket. A look of contemplated contempt crossed his face as he examined the conflicted half-breed. Normally Kotaro would have been furious at this sort of arrogance, he hated being looked down on, but what Fate thought of him seemed inconsequential right now. Fate had been right when he said Kotaro loved Chizuru and that love was now consuming him with everything it had. Guilt which he had refused to allow passage through his barriers of hate was now flooding out of everywhere. The feeling to wretch came strong in his throat as he remembered how gratifying it had been to see her squeal like an animal while he penetrated her again and again.

He had laughed and called her a slut, he had bathed in her debasement, he had relished each moment of her screaming so hard it hurt her. He had ignored her tears as the tears of a harlot and he had spanked her ass as if she was some cheap whore. He couldn't care less what some toy with an obsession with Negi, as so many did, thought of him. His whole world was consumed by what the person who had cared for him the most thought of him.

After some time of waiting a sense of normalcy returned. Kotaro drew himself up to his full height and looked towards the horizon. Opposite him Fate mirrored his position and waited.

"Why did I do it?" The question was most likely rhetorical but Fate felt the need to verbalize the answer;

"Because you felt like Negi, the person who always exceeded you at everything you loved about yourself with casual ease had successfully taken from you the one thing you felt was yours and not his: **Chizuru's affection**. For you it felt like the greatest betrayal and it hurt even more because you could not understand why she would agree to it so casually. You felt like you had lost your mother, family, friend, lover and the thing that gave your world stability to Negi in one moment. Remember I asked you about friends? That was because I wanted to demonstrate to you how small your world really is. Chizuru and Natsumi are your only deep connection to this place and now, to you, it feels like the most important of those two has chosen to make you second in her heart and like all humans this saddens you. But this does not justify what you did it merely explains it,"

Kotaro smiled sadly. He was right. He looked at the moon again.

'_Chizu-nee what would your life have been like if I never blundered in on it? Would you maybe of fallen in love with Negi like so many others? Come to think of it what have I ever really added? Sure there were probably one or two times I helped but in any of those cases wasn't there always someone standing by stronger than me if necessary? Besides if push came to shove doesn't Negi always win? Doesn't he always make the right choice? Isn't he the hero? Well if he's the hero what am I? A sidekick? Too bad for me he's got a whole harem of girls competing for that position. Not to mention all his dad's old friends to. What do I add to this rescue of the Magical World project? At least Chizu-nee is useful to him. I know I shouldn't let this all bother me but for some reason it sits in my stomach like a hot coal. I just wish…wish'_

"How do I deal with it?"

"Resign yourself to it," Fate said.

"What has occurred has occurred, it cannot be changed, rather than wondering how the world could have been resign yourself to the fact that the world is this way. You are where you are and can only go forward," Fate was firm in this regard.

Kotaro closed his eyes. Behind them hidden from the world scenes played out; bathing with Chizuru, hugging her, feeling her hands on his hair gently stroking him, defending him, kissing him, supporting him, always there for him and always smiling at him. Natsumi too was in the visions, often flustered and nervous, but so much braver than she gave herself credit for. If she was a side-character then he was one of those characters in the background he felt, at least she spoke her mind, at least she accepted her weaknesses, and at least she wasn't him.

With every memory of happy times the lead weight on his shoulders grew and grew and grew. Kotaro fed it more and more feeling; nostalgia, love, sweetness, bitterness, joy, anxiety, despair and everything else that he was went into that weight. For a moment Kotaro bore all that was Kotaro on his shoulders and then, with a deep breath he opened his eyes and shrugged it all off. His eyes were met by the beautiful glow of the round moon.

All of a sudden Kotaro remembered why he had loved the moon so much and, as a sign of respect, he gave it a howl. _'It's over, what is done is done, there is no more place for me here' _

"So Fate I assume you have a plan, I mean you came here to convince me I should leave the Academy right?" This time there was nothing fake about the nonchalance in Kotaro's voice and he stared at Fate with cocky eyes, one hand resting on his hip, more Kotaro than he had been for a while. Fate returned a small knowing smile of his own.

"The only obstacles to your leaving are Chizuru, Natsumi and Negi, it is unlikely anyone else will notice beyond a cursory observation of the fact that you are missing," the words should have stung, Kotaro knew, but he didn't care anymore. He had accepted that he had already ruined things for himself here and now, as he had in the past, he had to disentangle himself from the web of commitments. How ironic that he was doing it once more with Fate.

"So what happens, can't I just go, I mean it's my choice?" Kotaro asked brazenly.

"No Negi won't allow something like that he would pursue you and attempt to convince you to stay with one of his friendship converting speeches," Fate replied and Kotaro merely nodded in agreement. After all both of them had been on the receiving end of that kind of speech before.

"So tell him I went on vacation to train so that I can stand a chance of nicking him next time we fight, it's an outright lie, but he might buy it,"

"That may work on Negi but Chizuru and Natsumi will still be upset and this will cause Negi to seek to find you for his student's sake and land us in the same mess."

"And I can't talk to Chizuru and Natsumi," Kotaro curtly said.

"Exactly, so I must convince them that it is your choice to leave. I believe I can do that but I will then require from you one thing,"

"What?"

"This," As Fate spoke he passed a small notebook to Kotaro. Kotaro took the thing delicately from Fate, scared that he might break it, and inspected it.

"A notebook?"

"A magical one, I own a sister copy. Anything you write in it I can see. If you send regular messages back, proof that you are alive, I might be able to allay any concerns or worries," Fate said.

"Geesh so much trouble just to run away, normally I'd just slip out at night and be gone,"

"Normally you wouldn't be escaping from the arguably strongest being on the planet,"

Silence reigned between the two again briefly as Kotaro pocketed the notebook.

"Will you say goodbye?" Fate asked.

"Nah, they don't need that, I'll just worry them. I'd say make sure they stay alright but I know Negi will anyway. He really cares about those students of his. So you just make sure he finishes his job kay?" Kotaro smirked, pointing a finger comically at Fate, as if there was anything to worry about.

"Take these as well," Fate said, passing Kotaro an airplane ticket.

"Airplane? I could just run you know,"

"No, you must get far away quickly so that Negi is not tempted to find you. This flight will take you to a foreign country. From there you can do what you will so long as you periodically leave me messages as proof you are alive,"

"You know Fate you aren't utterly unlikeable,"

"And I actually do have a degree of pity for your situation dog-boy"

As quickly as the two had come together they separated. One returned to the dormitory where he had left two beleaguered girls in each other's company and the other to an airport and, far more importantly, away from Mahora.

The moon shone on with the stars in tandem. Kotaro had always been more of a moon child, with other people like stars shining brightly beside him. He could never compare to the sun that was Negi, which blotted out the world with its radiance.

* * *

><p>Mephiles: The story only really starts now. I intend to develop it according to how the actual manga progresses. The important difference will be what effect a missing Kotaro has on the plotline from here on out. Anyway I'm a bit annoyed that Negi got another power up, he's immortal now apparently, whilst the rest of the cast stagnates. Personally I don't need Kotaro to become as strong as him, I actually don't want him to, but I would like for the story to focus on Kotaro's despair over the matter. Currently Kotaro seems to just accept anything Negi does and that cheapens his character in my opinion. I hope Kotaro and Chizuru make a pactio with each other soon, I see no reason why they can't since Chizuru did offer one, and additionally was very happy to see that in Chapter 344's raws and translation Chizuru doesn't bother to raise her pactio card when asked to and also doesn't even get counted along with the others. Anyway I hope that there will be an arc focussing a bit on Kotaro soon. I also think that Kotaro should get a bit more of a harem feel himself, maybe have the girls who like him get comically worked up the way Negi's always do, and then have him make pactios with them. I mean even Fate had 5 so I think Kotaro should have some to, not to mention if a pactio's strength is somewhat determined by the feelings of the participants then Kotaro and Chizuru would produce another super-artifact like Natsumi's one. In the meantime I was wondering how many ChizuruxKotaro fans are out there? Personally I like both ChizuruxKotaro and NatsumixKotaro and, since Negima is a harem story and Negi and Fate have so many girls, see no reason not to ship both equally. Kotaro, Chizuru and Natsumi are my favourite Characters though.<p>

I also was recently reminded of an interesting fact. In his imagine spot at the governor ball Kotaro pictures Chizuru with **two** leeks. Foreshadowing.


	5. Liftoff 04

Liftoff 4

Fate walked slowly through the night. Although he knew it would be quicker to fly or teleport to his destination he felt a need to think over things. Was what Kotaro felt similar to what happened to Shiori? Would Kotaro of felt betrayed had he been in Fate's place? Personally Fate felt nothing whatsoever but, then again, he saw no reason to. He had made clear to Shiori that she could do whatever she so wanted to do after the completion of her mission. Still he couldn't help but wonder if Shiori would have felt hurt over the fact that he didn't care?

'_Not caring about romance certainly has its advantages around Negi-kun; the boy is like a girl sinkhole, if I actually cared about things like loyalty I would most likely end up in the same position as Kotaro. No that's irrational. Kotaro is overreacting, Chizuru has no interest in Negi-kun, and this is nothing like with Shiori. Shiori genuinely fell in love with Negi-kun.'_

He mulled it over for a little while, wondering if a better solution perhaps existed, attempting to piece together whatever possible explanation he could for why Kotaro left. He knew the task before him would be difficult, he had to convince the two to cut ties with Kotaro forever, but he also knew it was necessary. _'Love is really a complicating factor when it is not directed at Negi-kun.'_

He came to a halt before the door to the dorm room he had left them trapped in. He had to move quickly to ensure that they did not attempt to escape and chase down the half-breed. With an irritated sigh Fate opened the door and stepped into the room expecting an excess of energy to be wasted pointlessly in the argument he would engage in.

The moment he stepped through he found himself confronted by two pairs of eyes. Both eyes were strikingly different in their nature; whilst one pair was visibly hostile the other looked simply pathetic.

"Where is Kotaro-kun," before he could say anything Chizuru was already in front of him, her arms folded and a dark expression on her face, glowering down at Fate. He maintained his usual calm and composure as he quickly evaluated the two girls.

Chizuru was obviously upset. She was also clearly nervous about the fact that he had not returned with Kotaro in tow. She perhaps understood better what the worst case scenario was.

Natsumi simply looked wretched, stranded in a corner of the room, and watching everything play out as if from far away. Fate doubted he would have much trouble with her. As he had calculated previously everything rested on persuading Chizuru Naba to let Kotaro go, if he could succeed in that then Natsumi would by proxy be incapable of effectively causing a problem. After scanning over a few different ways to begin the conversation He eventually settled on honesty.

"Kotaro has decided to leave Mahora Academy," Fate stated the truth with characteristic frankness, watching as the enormity of his words sunk in, expecting the two girls to take some time to cushion the impact of such a blow. He did not expect Chizuru to barely wait one second before launching into another angry question.

"What do you mean he is leaving? Where is he?" Chizuru, although trying to keep calm, was clearly battling to control a seething rage just below the surface. Fate did not objectively find this surprising as she had been through a severely jarring emotional event tonight.

"Where is Kotaro-kun?" Natsumi, more pitiful than angry, asked with tears in her eyes, huddling in a corner of the room.

"He has decided to no longer reside here; I can make this no clearer. As a result of the events tonight, and other preceding factors, Kotaro has determined that it would be best for everyone if he did not-"

"Come on Natsumi lets go, I'll knock some sense back into that boy," Chizuru grabbed Natsumi's arm and huffed past Fate, ignoring his words, and heading straight for the door.

"He is doing this for your sake," Fate said, moving to intercept them and prevent their continuing search. _'If these two begin searching for Kotaro it will only be a matter of days before someone notices something and Negi becomes aware of it. I cannot allow this to happen; the time we would lose from chasing down Kotaro to dealing with the emotional turmoil generated by his crime would be too much. Not to mention Negi's faith in me would be damaged for withholding this from him. Negi-kun is under enough pressure as it is I cannot risk anymore,'_

"And I am doing this for his sake," Chizuru shot back, her eyes set with resolve. Looking into them Fate recalculated his odds of success in a direct confrontation and backed down, opting for a more diplomatic approach.

"Are you? Think about what you do next carefully. If his sake is what you are most interested in then perhaps you should listen to what I have to say? Rather than simply assuming you know what is best. After all your method of dealing with him has lead us here hasn't it?" The words were cutting, Fate knew, but he needed an immediate reaction to immobilize her. He braced himself, suspecting something like a slap or punch to come his way out of rage and fury, studying the profile of Chizuru from behind with close scrutiny.

Chizuru's hand hovered over the door knob, clenching over it, and then unclenching as she turned back to face Fate. Her entire form seemed to be visibly quaking as she battled to control something deep down inside of her.

"What possible reason could he have to want to leave?" She hissed between grated teeth.

"You mean besides trying to rape an innocent girl," Chizuru's eyes narrowed at the nonchalant tone with which Fate has stated it whilst at the same time Natsumi broke into fresh tears.

"That is my decision," Chizuru said in a truly threatening tone, before shushing Natsumi for a bit and enclosing the younger girl in her arms. Fate watched with mild interest, noting how Chizuru tended to cause those around her to become dependent on her for their emotional wellbeing and stability. Was it on purpose or an inadvertent side effect of who she was? If it was the former then her behaviour towards Kotaro had been negligent manipulation and Fate felt slightly less sympathy for her on the other hand if it was the latter then he had a much more confusing situation on his hands.

"I am listening," Chizuru suddenly snapped, after quieting Natsumi down and guiding her to the floor, her arms crossed as she faced Fate head on. _'Formidable' _he thought, marginally impressed.

"Kotaro feels ashamed and guilty, understandable, but more importantly than that he feels like you no longer like him as much-"

"Preposterous then I'll go and make sure he knows just how much I like him so if you'll excuse me," Chizuru huffed, before Fate finished, glaring at him. Clearly she did not appreciate his interference.

"Wait, let me finish, he knows you like him but he feels that you do not like him as much as he wanted you to. His problem is not that your affection for him has decreased but that he always was mistaken about the depth of it. He wishes to no longer complicate your life by intruding on it. By leaving he feels he lifts the burden of a confusing relationship and allows you to pursue your true desires. Additionally this way he feels there will no longer be any trouble for you in helping Negi in completing his goal, but that is beside the point," Fate finished, watching Chizuru who had begun to tap her shoe lightly.

"That is utterly ridiculous **and **I would ask you to stop thinking I don't already know things like that. No one knows Kotaro as well as I do!" Chizuru said the last point almost possessively, as if jealous that Fate would dare insinuate otherwise. _'A nerve? Could she be as upset by the prospect that she did actually do something wrong as he is? Interesting.' _

"Kotaro needs to be spoken to and the one who needs to do it is me! I don't care what he or you think is the right thing to do **I **need to speak with him!" Chizuru was seriously angry, something she very rarely was, and Natsumi couldn't help but feel a bit overawed by her bravery. _'I wish I could be like Chizuru-san' _she once again thought, as she often had.

Fate raised his hands in a placating manner, trying to defuse the already tense situation.

"You come in here and talks about what should be done but why should I believe you? For all I know you've done something to Kotaro and are just trying to cover your own tracks." Natsumi smiled faintly again, feeling encouraged by Chizuru's bravado. Fate, however, read something totally different from her voice; _'Does she feel…scared? Is she worried she lost him? That she made a mistake? Or does she just not want to admit that she could possibly be the cause of pain in his life and hence she tries to shift blame onto others like me?'_

"Please understand I am only thinking of what the most practical solution would be. It is Kotaro's wish to leave and I did not manipulate him into it. If you need proof then look at this," as Fate spoke he revealed a notebook from his pocket, leafing through it to a certain page and handing it open to Chizuru. Chizuru took the book suspiciously from Fate before staring at its contents.

Natsumi watched as for a good few minutes Chizuru seemed to stare frozen at the page. Natsumi's expression became confused as Chizuru's face seemed to drain of all colour. The fiery spirit which had been in her just a few seconds ago seemed to have frozen in an instant. Natsumi did not believe something that bright could freeze so quickly, like a sun disappearing in a single second. Eventually, after waiting for Chizuru to say something, she picked herself off of the floor in order to also see what the book said.

"What are you reading-"Natsumi's words stopped as she looked over Chizuru's shoulders at the content of the notebook.

_Hey Fate, I'm giving you this cause I'm sure Chizu-nee and Natsumi-neechan will need some evidence, don't expect me to ever be this chatty again kay? I don't like you enough to actually keep in touch like some long distance boyfriend…could you not let them read that par- wait a second if everything I write-why…I'm going to start now. _Natsumi giggled despite herself, feeling a slight redness in her cheeks. In her mind's eye she could just imagine Kotaro sitting somewhere hidden, embarrassed people might mistake him for being bookish if they saw him, struggling to write a simple message with his usual buffoonish charm before eventually just giving up and writing down exactly what he meant. It was kinda…cute.

_So yeah, what do I say? You two are probably kinda bummed, or maybe not, but don't worry Fate didn't force me or manipulate me into anything, damn bastard just made total sense. The truth is I'm just kind of pointless over in Mahora. I'm not really strong enough and I don't have a thing for Negi so…I don't know what I'm doing there. It just feels to me sometimes like I'm totally out of it, like I don't belong in there with you guys. I mean I had fun with you two and Kaede-neechan, you were all great to me, but you girls have other things to do now and I…I…I don't. I'm really sorry for everything, especially to you Chizu-nee; I was kinda always just a brat. I guess Ayaka was right about that eh? Anyway though thanks for everything it was…nice to have a place to settle down but I ain't got anything left to give. I just made stuff worse for you all and now I'm gonna make things better. Natsumi-neechan you ain't no side character and keep using that Pactio of yours to help Negi out kay? Well…Chizu-nee, sorry for everything. Thanks for…for…everything. This is really cliché isn't it? Please don't come after me you guys will be happy with your friends and Negi anyway I was always a bit of a fifth wheel cheers!_

"no," Natsumi softly breathed as the words ended. Whatever humour she had found in his letter's beginning was totally annihilated by its end. How could there not be more? How did she respond?

"No!" She said louder, ripping the book from Chizuru's grasp and hurling it across the room at Fate, who casually dodged it with a shift of his head.

"Natsumi," Chizuru tried to calm her down but Natsumi gave her no chance to this time;

"No, no, no, no! Nothing is okay! Nothing will ever be okay! We went through a stupid life and death adventure and now he's leaving because of a card? A single card?" Natsumi looked around herself at Fate and Chizuru, her voice shrill and her eyes frantic. As if suddenly overcome with an idea she ripped her own Pactio card from her breast pocket. Fate's eyes widened slightly as he instantly realized what she was going to do.

'_I can communicate to him through my card; I won't let him get away! He won't get away, he can't leave me, I won't let him!' _

"Natsumi what are you…"

"Stop!" Fate moved forward to stop Natsumi and his arm shot out, hitting the card from her hand and causing her to fall backwards onto her back. She let out a short shriek of pain. In the blink of an eye Chizuru's own hand moved through the air and slapped the face of Fate, leaving him staring out of the corner of one eye at an incredibly savage expression. _'As I predicted excess energy'_

"Get out!"

Fate was steadily becoming annoyed. Why had he not simply altered the two's memories again? Oh yes because Negi-kun would certainly notice and complain.

"Please understand that I am trying to do what Kotaro wants," he said through grit teeth as Natsumi stood up from the floor. _'Why can they not understand? Kotaro cannot recover from his jealousy anything they do will merely make him feel belittled. The only salve they can give is to let him move on, to let him be right. Sometimes a person would rather be correct about their own mistakes._

"I said **get out!**"

Fate sighed. He now had no choice but to use the single last weapon in his arsenal.

"And if I leave pray tell what will you do? He is unlikely to respond to your summons from the Pactio card and he is already far from here," as Fate said this Natsumi was already pulling herself up, returning her card to its place in her pocket.

"Then we'll find him, together," Chizuru gripped a surprised Natsumi's hand in her own as she stared on resolutely.

"How?"

"We'll find a way," she responded.

"Yes I thought that might be your answer but it seems you've failed to think this through. Don't you think your absence will be noticed by others at this Academy, others who may seek to assist you?"

"So? Let them assist us, Kotaro's a part of our group,"

"Wrong . Kotaro is your and Natsumi's friend. Other than that he only has a close bond with Kaede and Negi-kun. If you were to enlist assistance in finding him inevitably Negi-kun would join you and, I should mention, the search would most likely end in success very quickly,"

"So what is the problem? You clearly aren't telling me this unless you think there would be something wrong with this,"

"Yes…it would totally destroy him," Fate spoke plainly.

"What?" Natsumi asked, weak and confused, turning to Chizuru for clarification and horrified to see a sort of awful realization dawning on her face.

"Yes you understand don't you? You are perceptive. If Negi-kun is the one to bring back Kotaro he will be incapable of continuing normally. His pride and ego are already so bruised that to be further humiliated by the twofold blow of being told he was wrong, again, by Negi-kun and at the same time knowing that the two of you turned to Negi to find him would be the worst possible solution. Although he may in time adjust to living here again he would never be the Kotaro you came to like," cold eyes stared right into Chizuru as she felt a nausea sweep into her.

'_What to do? I want what's best for Kotaro-kun but…but…my compassion is tearing me in two. On the one hand I want to save him but if that means hurting him that badly is it really saving him? I can't let him go but I can't hurt him either. What do I do?' _Chizuru felt paralyzed by indecision. Next to her Natsumi seemed to sense this change and recoiled away from her, a look of disbelief crossing her face.

"No, no, no we can't not go! Chizuru-san we have to go after him,"

Chizuru hung her head sadly. She knew they had to go after him but…

"How?" She asked herself softly. _'How did it come to this? Did I really neglect him? Why didn't I just think of him when Negi-sensei suggested the Pactio? Why? What do I do? Why didn't he say something? If he wanted a Pactio why didn't he ever tell me? What does this stupid thing do anyway?" _Chizuru didn't know where her card was right now, she had misplaced it, but she really wish she did so that she could cut it up with a scissor.

"Kotaro will maintain contact via me, if ever he is in danger it will be known, but on his behalf and the behalf of Negi-kun's plan please do not tell anyone or attempt to find him," Fate seemed to sense a victory, even if only temporary. If Chizuru was inactive even for only a few days that may be all the time he needed to create a convincing lie or, alternatively, find someone who could convince the girls to abandon him.

"Sensei's plan?" Natsumi asked, confused how this could affect it.

"Yes if Negi-kun gets distracted by this it might take crucial time away from his true purpose. Worse if he is confronted with the reality it might upset him. Right now we need Negi-kun focussed. Please do not be selfish millions of lives depend on Negi's best abilities, are you really willing to trade that for Kotaro Inugami?"

Internally Natsumi couldn't help but fume, not something she very commonly did; _'Negi-kun, Negi-kun, Negi-kun he sounds as bad as Nodoka. But it's not just her it's them all; Asuna, Yue, Chisame, Chachamaru, Evangeline, Misa, Sakarako, Madoka, Takane, Makie, Ku Fei, Akira, Konoka and even that Shiori girl . What is the matter with them? How can they all be that obsessed? What are they sheep? I mean didn't Misa have a boyfriend? What is so amazing about Negi-kun that no-one ever even notices another boy? Kotaro-kun's just as good looking and he's not weak? So why does no-one care? Is it like me? Does Kotaro-kun feel he is a side character in the shadows like me? Why? Why? Why did Chizu-nee do it? She always held Kotaro-kun first in her heart I mean I was even jealous of her. Kotaro-kun had such a big crush on her it made me feel like I was being ignored sometimes. What is with the girls and Negi-kun? Why does no-one go out of their way to spend time with Kotaro-kun? He knows just as much about the plan as anyone else so why did Chizu-nee keep him in the dark? What is everyone's problem? Come to think of it though it isn't just them it's all the guys as well; Rakan, Takamichi-sensei, Godel and the Dean. Come to think of it it's like the whole world revolves around Negi and no-one else. But that's fine! I mean I don't mind being unimportant but why did no-one notice how much it hurt Kotaro-kun?'_

"Please wait at least a day or two before we discuss this again, I need time to prevent Negi-kun from pursuing Kotaro," Fate said as he left the room. Chizuru slumped to her knees in the room and Natsumi suddenly felt an urge to go and comfort her.

But she didn't.

Natsumi turned around and walked to her room alone. She wanted to cry but she wouldn't let herself, not in front of Chizuru. She suddenly felt an immense distaste for the bigger girl and as she shut the door to her room she shut the sobbing coming from Chizuru out as well.

* * *

><p>Mephiles: Short chapter. Not particularly well written in my opinion but I wanted to put something out. The plan from here is to mimic the canon plot as it develops as much as possible accomodating for the changed circumstances. Since Kotaro has done zilch so far it should be easy up until Chapter 347 at least. Yeah so feeling a bit bummed again. I made the mistake of reading Chapter 63 and 64 again recently (the ones where Chizuru and Kotaro meet) and was left feeling really devastated by what happens in 340 again. If someone had asked me at that point what would happen I would have bet them that Kotaro and Chizuru would pactio with each other in the future. I still think they will, of course, and I am certian they will. So I decided to respond to the reviews in personal mode:<p>

Ryvius: Don't worry about complaining I just like the attention. I get what you say and about Fate all I can tell you is that I think he is a tactless asshole and so I write him like that. If it isn't Negi, or something to do with Negi, Fate couldn't really care less. It's something about his character which irritates me because it buys into this 'Negi-worship' trend in the story recently. As for other characters noticing all I can say is, objectively, I disagree. I mean the majority of the girls hardly knows Kotaro exists and those who do mostly have zero interaction with him. I can't see a Nodoka, Asakura, Evangeline, Mana, Ku Fei, Asuna, Misa, Haruna or others even batting an eyelash except perhaps in confusion as to who Kotaro is. I mean in a recent chapter Madoka, a girl who but 7 chapters ago asked Kotaro out on a date, displayed that she, even with full knowledge, still would rather kiss Negi and make a pactio with him than Kotaro. Personally I see Chizuru, Natsumi, Negi and Kaede as the only characters who really care for Kotaro in that order. About the free will thing I think that will become more clear later so I won't say anything more.

marze09: Thanks for being the first reviewer and Kaede will be the only one who notices but Ayaka will be easily convinced there is no problem.

GirlwithNoLife: Yeah made me sad to. But I am confident and believe that the two will still make a pactio with each other. ChizuruxKotaro for sure and Chizuru will make a pactio with Kotaro.

duke69: Thanks

Darkenning: Said it all in the personal message, though I get you don't want to respond, nothing more to say really.


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